Tag Archives: 4 Pillars

It’s Time to Really Get in Gear

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These past couple of months, I have kept myself in place in life where I have not been able to live out what I’ve been writing about.  This is a challenge that we all can face as we struggle with understanding what may be the “right” path to take and what may be the path you were meant to take and that God place you here for.  I let myself get so bogged down with other things that it took away from me focusing on things that really mean something to me and that can have meaningful impacts on those around me.  I’ve been fortunate that in these last few months, the things that have kept me going are my family and my faith.  I enjoy every waking moment I have with my wife and children.  Yes, spring time is hectic as our children are filled with their activities, but I love every part of it.  It has been a great part of their growth and it has bonded us all closer together.  I also have latched on to my faith as my daily walk with God through His word has been a continued uplift for me in times where mentally and emotionally I was struggling with keeping myself afloat with the demands of my work and school.

I have learned that in my life and in all our lives, there will be times where we just struggle with our purpose and figuring out what it is we should be doing with this tremendous gift of life the Lord has granted us.  Last week, I first decided to take some leave from my doctoral work just for my own sanity.  Then I took a couple of vacation days to spend with my family.  On the first day, we packed up a picnic lunch and fishing gear and went out to the lake for a day of fishing.  It was a great time just spending with my family and relaxing at the same time.  Throughout the time of baiting hooks and getting my kids lines out of trees and other snags, it dawned on me again that this is what really matters in life.  The time and energy I get to spend with my family to teach them, to have fun with them, and just enjoy the company of each other.  The same holds true for my wife and the amount of time I get to spend with her and focusing on us.

So there it is for me.  I was back to 3 of the 4 Pillars.  Then I had to rethink Pillar 4 which focuses on Work.  I realized that I had really let 4 Pillar Living get away from me.  I let so much else detract from me working on something that really mattered to me and what seems to matter to others as well.  I am not the worlds foremost expert in how to live by any means, but I am certainly here in position to help guide people into making sure they focus on the important aspects of living not let unimportant things get in the way of you enjoying life and coming alive through all areas of life.

Now is the time for me and for us all to really figure out how to unleash our own God given potential and live out the lives we were meant to live.  We all have a purpose and if we listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying through us, we will be able to find that purpose and then take the steps to live it out.  My call to service is help others unleash who they are meant to be.  It is a struggle that we all have and that I have and continue to have.  I have learned a lot along the way and I plan to use my writing and communication abilities to share that with you all more and more.  You will once again begin to see more consistent content on 4PillarLiving.com.  My work on my book “4 Pillars to Coming Alive” is kicking back into high gear again and I will also be developing strong focal points on each  of the Pillars.   One of the first will be focused on Marriage and relationships.  Be on the lookout for more this summer.  In addition, 4 Pillar Radio will be coming online soon.  I will be working to get that going once again.

It’s going to be a fun ride and I hope you will join me through it.   4 Pillar Living is getting back in gear and this train is stopping.  Enjoy the Ride!!!

The Power that Faith Brings

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I have devoted a great deal of time these past few years renewing my faith and relationship with Christ.  I’m not always on point in this walk, but I come a long way in ensuring I walk with Him daily and keep His path close to my heart as I grow as a man of faith and a leader for my family and those around me.  Through my journey, I have learned just how powerful that faith can be in my life and in anyone’s life who chooses to walk by faith.  Even when we are unsure of what the end results may be, following a path by faith will lead you down God’s path for you and help you grow closer to Him in your own life.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”  When we choose to walk through life by faith, we are putting our trust and confidence in the Lord that he will provide and guide us down the path he has chosen for us.  I think we have all heard people over the years talk about their struggle with faith when they cannot see what it is God has planned for even see proof that God is actually here for us.  I walked down this pathway some especially after I lost my Dad and did not know what it was that God was doing and questioning why he would let something as tragic as that happen to someone like him.  Since that time, I have grown to understand that those events happen life for specific reasons.  My Dad was a man of tremendous faith, and maybe through what he endured, it may help others to find their way to the Lord and I think that certainly happened and continues to happen.

So what does faith me to you.  In my Bible readings this morning, the subject of faith as a active thing versus a passive feeling was discussed.  Through faith, Christians can rely on faith for their day to day living.  We’ve come too far in life to live passively and not exercise our faith.  Our lives are a unique opportunity for each of us to life a life of faith and not sit back letting life pass us by and being complacent in how we live.  Just to use an analogy from my reading, lets say you were given the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to play a round of golf at Augusta National Golf Club.  You come to the Par 5 13th hole at Amen Corner.  After driving down the fairway you are faced with the decision to layup or go for the green.  Chances are you may never play that course again, so why not take a chance of faith and go for it.  In other words, when those unique opportunities arise to exercise your faith, take advantage of it.  You only have so much time to so.

If you look throughout our history, so much was done and accomplished on the pillar of faith.  Go all the way back to Abraham, who showed ultimate faith by being willing to sacrifice his son, Isaac as instructed by God, only to be stopped by God himself, when he saw that Abraham had committed all his faith to God.  By trusting in Him, even though he may not be physically visible to us we can make through and accomplish anything in life with the Lord by our side.

Martin Luther King, Jr said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”  It may be scary to take that step into the unknown, to begin a new chapter in life, to begin a new career, to begin a family, to begin a ministry, or whatever it may be.  That first step can be tricky, but demonstrating faith and stepping, even when you cannot see what will become, is extremely powerful.  It shows a lot of your own character and God will also guide you through those steps into the unknown.  Walk by faith, even when you cannot see.  He will guide you through it all.

The Need for Mental Toughness

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I’ve been meaning to write about this for several days, but travels and school demands have kept me at bay the last couple of weeks.  This is regarding something I got to experience the weekend prior at my son’s first baseball tournament of the season.  It has to do with guts and mental toughness.  Down in Georgia, we get the baseball and softball seasons going early.  Practice for travel teams usually kicks off full time after the first of the year, with the first tournaments by late February to early March.  My son’s travel team, South East Baseball, played its first tournament the weekend before last in temperatures that were clearly not baseball weather.  As his coach said, there’s a reason Spring Training is in Florida.

Anyway, we were out at the ballpark for many hours on Saturday and Sunday.  For us parents, it was ridiculous cold.  It felt unnatural to be there with my winter coat, sock hat, hand-warmers, gloves, etc.  But while us parents were there freezing our tails off, our boys were out there playing as if the cold didn’t phase them.  Game after game, they would take the field and play there best and won game after game.  By day two and championship play, the temperature and wind chill tanked.  Yet, our guys were still out there staging an awesome come-back to win the tournament and be the only undefeated team in our brackets.  These boys didn’t wine, they did not come looking for their hoodies, they just got out there and played their best.  It was fun to watch the character of these guys and their mental toughness to just gut it out and finish the tournament.   They had their eyes on the goal and stayed fired up to finish what they set out to do.

The other day, I ran across a quote from Bill Russell, which said, “Concentration and mental toughness are the margins to victory.”  That’s exactly what I saw on display.  These boys concentrated and had the mental toughness to finish and drive to victory.  I believe this holds true with anything in life, not just in a baseball tournament.  In life we are constantly facing obstacles in pursuit of our goals.  It may not be the cold weather, but could be any number of things that can try to slow you down.  In order to obtain that goal and victory, requires mental toughness and concentration.  Know what it is you want, set your mind on that goal and go for it.

God’s Word tells us over and over to not fear and to be strong and courageous.  This requires mental toughness to continue driving forward.  As I’ve said before, Always Forward and never back.  Know what it is you want to achieve and set your mind and actions in motion to achieve that goal.  Your character shows when you set your actions in motion toward a goal.  If you let things slow you down, such as the cold at this tournament, you will find it very difficult to succeed.  Keep driving with the mental toughness to succeed and you will.

How Do You Define Success?

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I have been fairly quite these past couple of weeks.  This is that time of year where my family is constantly on the go.  We have travel baseball, travel softball, and archery.  The schedule for the kids get so hectic from week to week and this weekend, the tournament schedule begins for our two younger ones and our oldest is competing in the state DECA competition with his high school.  Despite all of this, we love every bit of it.  We only have our children with us for so long, and we have made it a point to ensure that we enable them to have every opportunity to pursue their passions.  It is a joy to watch them all doing things they love to do and excel at what they do.

With all of that said, having such a hectic life can be a recipe for tearing at the relationships in the home and in life.  The same holds true for people that get so caught up in the craziness of work and forget about home as well.  Amber and I make it a point to take advantage of those times when we are not on the go to spend with one another and do things as a family to ensure we do not lose touch with each other.  I know we are not the only ones that do, but it is important to point out how significant this can be.  If the busy life causes you to lose sight of the important things in life, especially your family, how in the world can you ever call yourself successful.

As with most blogs I write, there is a key quote that goes along with it.  The quote I found today was great and comes from the late Zig Ziglar.  Mr. Ziglar stated, “I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.”

I know many people that are so steadfastly focused on their work or other busy goings on in life that they forget the focus needed on the home life.  It is all about balance.  This was the reason I call my venture 4 Pillar Living.  There is a balance to every aspect of life that needs our focus and attention, but we cannot get so focused in one area that we neglect other areas.  You can never be truly successful that way.  I believe success is attained when you are able to balance each of these key pillars of life in a way that they begin to compliment one another.

I’ll go back to my original example of the busy schedules of our children.  If Amber and I were strictly all about the kids events and activities and did not take time for another that would hurt our marriage.  We take the time to unwind and spend together.  Even if it is just sitting on the couch together late in the evening after the kids are in bed.  When I am working from the house we make it a point as much as possible to get out and go to lunch together.  That is our time to spend with each other.  Even if I have a busy day with work, I make sure I step away to spend my time with her.  What good am I if I focus on work, work, work and neglect her or even my family.  That is the way to disaster in the home.

These are things I have learned over time.  I stumble at times, but I have learned and work to improve on each of these areas of life.  The same holds true when it comes to my faith.  I can balance my life with work and family, but if I neglect my faith and my walk with God, how can I ever be truly successful.  He created me for purpose, just like the rest of us and if I neglect that, then I cannot be successful.  As Mr. Ziglar said it is a balance of success stories.  You have to be able to find success in each area, in each pillar.  Don’t neglect one over the other.  Find success in each area then you can be successful.

What’s Your Excuse?!?!?

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Yesterday, I was a at a big meeting that was capped off by a motivational speaker.  Some of you may have heard of him.  His name is Erik Weihenmayer.  If you have not heard of him, go to www.touchthetop.com to learn a little more about him.  Erik is a truly phenomenal speaker with a great story of overcoming serious adversity to do amazing.  What is his adversity, you may ask?  Erik is blind.  Blinded after a rare eye disease hit him in college.  Okay, you may think great.  What is even more amazing though, is the things this guy does.  First, he climbed Mt. Everest (yes blind), he goes kayaking, and a number of other amazing adventures.  For the purposes of the meeting, a key message he had was the importance of the team he has behind him.  I will touch on that in my next post.  The other big message that I got was, what’s our excuse for not doing anything?  This guy climbs mountains, along with others with disabilities, including one guy who is a paraplegic, and another that is a double amputee in his legs and others.  It was truly inspiring to see the wonderful things he has done in his life and not letting the setback of going blind run his life.

Hearing his story reminded me of another I guy I had heard about a couple of month’s back named, Sean Stephenson.  He was featured in December’s issue of Success Magazine.  Sean suffers from brittle bone disease, and at age 33 has suffered over 200 fractures.  Despite all of this, Sean is a guy who does not let anything keep him back and has become very successful as an author, motivational speaker, and more.  He’s a guy who does not let things hold him back.  Listening to his interview from that magazine issue was pretty awesome as well.

Both of these guys made me reflect on myself and everyone around me.  We all come through life and meet different levels of adversity.  Things that seem like a brick wall trying to keep us from unleashing who we are meant to be, or at least it may seem like it.  I have learned from my experiences, and from these two stories that any adversity set before us can also be significant strength builders to becoming who we are truly meant to be.  We have to let ourselves hear what that is and not be consumed in the pity party saying poor me.  Albert Schweitzer said, “One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.”  Those moments of adversity are those moments when our metal is truly tested.  We are meant to find out who we really are and how we can overcome that adversity and use it to our advantage.  Erik Weihenmayer and Sean Stephenson certainly did.

So I ask you, what’s your excuse?  If you are stuck in that mode of I just can’t get ahead.  I can’t find opportunity.  I can’t reach my goals.  What’s your excuse.  Truth be told, there is not excuse.  You have to find it in yourself to pick yourself up and drive forward.  To leap over that obstacle in your way to find the opportunity, to get ahead, to reach your goals, and come alive.  I have said time again that we all have a purpose under God.  He has a special purpose for each one of us.  That adversity is a significant part of that purpose.  Live, learn, and continue to drive forward and grow.  I say again, what’s your excuse?  If you let adversity hold you back, you will always find yourself falling behind.  Getup and climb.  Use adversity as a source of strength and you will be stronger than ever before.

Believe In Yourself and Your Direction

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Have you ever had a moment in life where you have set your eyes on something only to lose the motivation to keep going for one reason or another?  Have you had those moments where you come up with what seems like a great idea only to have someone bring you back down to “reality” that it could not be done?  Finally, have you ever just given up on a dream and idea just because it seemed like too difficult a goal?  These are questions that I think we can all answer a big fat “YES” to.  Life can bring all kinds of directional changes to you.  It is all a part of your continue growth as an individual in search of God’s path.  Often times we come up with some big plans or ideas of something new to work toward only to have something pull us away from that goal.  This could  be any number of circumstances.

A few years back, I went on this adventure to start my own politically based internet talk radio show.  It was a weekly venture, where I recapped various issues going on in Washington or other things around the country or the world.  It was slowly gaining traction and I had a small following.  After about 6 months, I lost my Dad tragically in a car accident.  This event in my life completely took the wind out of my sails and the motivation to do anything let alone this talk show.  I tried to keep going after a couple of months off and then gave up completely.  I don’t know if that show would have amounted to anything, but who knows where it would be by this point had I not lost that motivation.

Obviously, that is something huge, tragic, and unforeseen, but it is certainly a prime example of how we cant lose motivation and belief in our own abilities.  When I began this idea of 4 Pillar Living a few months back, I was on fire for it.  I still am.  There have been days, with so much else going on in life, including my doctoral work, where I have almost felt it slip away.  I am determined, however, that this will not slip away, as I firmly believe in the direction this is headed and the message that I am out share with everyone in my writing and talking.

Norman Vicent Peale said “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”  Throughout our life we are faced with obstacles that try to pull us away from things that matter or that we have passion for.  You have to be able to have faith that you can do whatever it is you set your mind to do.  Have the belief in yourself that nothing can stop you from achieving your goals.  If you do so, then you WILL eventually reach the goals you set out for yourself.  Having humble, but reasonable confidence in your own powers….That also speaks very loudly.  Some people get too big for their britches and think they are absolutely unstoppable in pursuit of any goals.  While you may gain success, happiness, will be hard to come by.  Always strive to remain humble.  Remember all the work that you have to put forth to reach your goals.  Remember where you started, when it was just an idea.

Many of you saw the Kid President “Pep Talk” video I posted recently, or may have seen it on your own.  He said, “This is life people…We go air coming through your nose…We got heartbeat.  That means it’s time to do something.”  This little guy speaks so many truths about life.  You have to stand up and believe in yourself and the direction you have set on.  Don’t let the naysayers get in the way and stop you.  Try not to let circumstances pull you way by getting you distracted.  If you believe in yourself that you can meet your goals, then you will have it.

I was watching Courageous this morning with my kids before they went to school.  A great movie by the way, if you have not seen it, especially for you fathers out there.  When Adam Mitchell is giving the speech at the end, he talks about those naysayers when it comes to the resolution, which I have proudly hanging on my wall.  You will always encounter those naysayers, but you have to have enough belief in yourself to stick with what you have resolved to do.  Never let anyone tell you you’r not good enough or that you cannot achieve something.  Those are likely the very same people that would never in a million years, have the courage to do what you are striving for.  Have faith and believe and as the Lord said many time, Be strong and courageous!

Valentines Day!

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So another Valentines Day is upon us.  I kept joking with Amber yesterday that today is such a pressure filled day.  We walked into the grocery store and just like with any holiday, the entrance is plastered with all the flowers, candy, and everything else to go with the day.  But, what is this day really all about.  I was listening to a radio show earlier in the week where people were calling in talking about their disdain for Valentines Day and how they will not celebrate.  This was mostly women at that.  In some way in surprised me, but in some way it didn’t.  Many people have become so disenchanted with the day and don’t care for it.  I see this day a tremendous opportunity for many couples.  It can be day for reconciliation or to rekindle that spark in their marriage that may have been lost after so many years together.

As for me and my wife, it is just another day to express how much she means to me and how thankful I am that she is my bride.  I take the opportunity every day to tell her that I love her and I most certainly mean.  Without her, I would be lost.  She has been by my side through everything we have gone through in life and supported me through everything and I am so blessed and thankful that the Lord has brought her to me and we have had so many years together.  Everyday we are together, I grow to love her more and more.  I love spending my days with her when I get to work from my house and then just hanging out in the evenings.  She is every part of me that is good.

With all of that said, Happy Valentines Day to everyone, but especially for my beautiful wife, Amber.  You are my life, my love, and my best friend and I thank God for every day we have to spend together!

 

Can’t Grow Without Mistakes

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Our experiences in life take us down so many different avenues.  With each avenue, we are required to make constant decisions about that path.  Let me ask you this, in any of those avenues, or decisions in life, have you ever made a mistake?  If you for some reason say no, you must not be alive.  Life’s journey is filled with mistakes.  These are moments where we decide things that did not always produce the best results.  This could be anything, big or small.  If you work, you may make a decision on a project that may have seemed good, but ended up not producing the best results.  You may decide on a school for higher education, but not choose a degree path that really suits what you may want to do in the future.  Those are just minor examples of mistakes that occur in life.  There are countless other examples.

George Bernard Shaw said that , “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”  The mistakes that we make in life are all a part of the growing process and help to make us who we really are.  Notice that I am mentioning mistakes, not regrets.  I live live a life where I avoid having regrets.  Regrets are feelings that prevent us from moving beyond something that may not have gone the way we had hoped.  Mistakes on the other hand are experiences that we learn from and help to improve on the person we are.  They help to define ourselves in the way we bounce back from mistakes.  In any mistake I make, I do my best to learn from what went wrong to not only avoid that mistake again, but to also ensure I can improve on what was done.

Don’t let yourself live a life of regrets where any little mistake holds you down and prevents you from progressing to who you are meant to be.  I’ve been down that road before.  Living with regrets does not do you a bit of good.  As the old saying goes, live and learn.  You learn from the mistakes without regrets and you strive toward coming alive.  We are where we are in life as a result of every step we have taken whether we learn from our mistakes or choose to not learn and live a life of regret.  Our current state is a result of our actions and decisions in life and we are exactly where we are intended to be as a result of those actions.

Don’t let your life be defined by not taking action to learn from your own mistakes in life.  This applies to all 4 pillars of living.  You may have taken a road where you strayed from your faith in Christ.  You may have made mistakes that affect your relationships with your spouse, family, or friends.  You may have made mistakes in the work you do by taking a path that does not suit you or your passions.  Lastly, you may have made mistakes in not living a life that has purpose or that does not always move forward.

No matter which area, there is always opportunity to learn from the mistakes down each pillar of life.  Learning from any mistakes you have made will help you find the path you meant to be on.  You can find your way back to your faith in knowing, that Christ will always take you back.  You can find the ways to mend those relationships in your life.  You can find that work and passion that best suits you.  Finally, you can live a life with purpose that always moves forward.  You can Come Alive!  Everything that happens has a its purpose, good or bad and we have to learn from those times to make the best results from it.  Mistakes are nothing but a learning experience and opportunity.

Gotta Keep Swinging!

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I love baseball!  As a dad, I have had the pleasure of watching my boy play baseball and my daughter now plays softball.  Over the past 8 years I have also been able to coach each of my kids either as an assistant or head coach.  I was thrown into that mix my boys first year of playing and it just stayed with me til now.  This is the first year, I am not coaching in some time, which is awesome.  I actually get to sit back and enjoy the games.  My oldest, no longer plays baseball, but rather is now into archery.  My other son, competes at a high level in travel, with hopes of playing professionally and my daughter, now plays competitively in travel softball, and also hopes to play professionally.  It is a true joy to see all of my kids do things they enjoy and excel at what they do.

Aside from my kids playing I still love the game of baseball and love to watch the Braves play each year.  Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training next week and they’ll be underway for another season.  Baseball is one of those games where each day and each game can bring you something completely different.  You may have a phenomenal game one day and the very next, nothing seems to right.  It’s a lot like life in that sense.  Each day brings you new challenges that are often completely different from the day prior.  For any ball player, the challenge can be how to deal with those games that seem to not go your.  With my kids, I know they have had plenty of those.  But what they learned is that, they just have to push those tough games aside and keep right on going.

Hank Aaron, the real Home Run King, said, “My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.”  This is the approach that we should all take.  You have to keep swinging.  You cannot let a down day keep you back.  You have to keep right on and keep moving.  In baseball, or softball for that matter, gotta be fair to my daughter, if you strikeout, you cannot let that keep you down.  Get back up and go again the next time around.  When coaching my kids, I always told them that even the best players strikeout.  In life, even the best and most successful fall from time to time or have those down times and believe me, for most of them, they had to earn their way there through trials and difficulties.

Gotta keep swinging.  It’s so simple, but such a real part of life.  There are so many sports analogies that could be used I guess, but I love this one.  There’s always another opportunity to do better and to hit that line drive in the gap or blast one out.  There also, always another opportunity to reach your goals.  Set your mind toward it, keep swinging and until you drive it out of the park.  If you fall, get back up and do it again.  Now play ball and keep shooting for those dreams.

 

What Will You Create to Make the World AWESOME?!?!?!

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I know many of you probably have seen this, but I just had to share this video.  This kid is such a trip, but the message he delivers is so real.  It speaks right to the reality of life in the need for us to get out there and create.  By creating we drive forward with making the world awesome.  We all have something to contribute somewhere by our own God given talents and abilities.  The thing is whether we choose to stand back do nothing or we choose to take advantage of those abilities and do something meaningful, purposeful, and awesome.

“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It’s not always easy, but if we let ourselves go forward and pursue that greatness and unleash our talents to create, then my friends,we have come alive.  I choose to live and I choose to create.  What will do you?