Tag Archives: Calling

Return to the Mission – A Journey Through the Valley

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As I sit down to write this, I have been thinking a lot about the journey that I have been on. I have walked through some things I never thought I would have to go through and yet here we are. I don’t write this as a look at me, but rather as a look at God statement. It is only through Him and through faith and the strength He bestowed on me through Jesus Christ, that I can stand here with such confidence. Not too long ago, if I am gut level honest, my faith was hanging by the edge of a knife.

Tomorrow is March 19, 2026. Why is this date significant? A couple of years ago, I did not think the day would come. Tomorrow, we kick off our 10th Anvil Men’s Boot Camp weekend. This was a mission that God put in front of me nearly 10 years ago. It became an opportunity to share my faith and story in the context of some teaching that absolutely transformed my life. Without the message that John Eldredge shared through Wild at Heart some 25 yeas ago, and if a colleague named KC did not gift me a copy of that book 14 years ago, I honestly can’t say where I would be. Was I beginning to pursue Jesus? Yes, but what that message did for me changed the playing field. Story for another time.

As The Anvil got underway, I was blessed with the privilege to see God move and change lives in ways I could not have foreseen. It wasn’t even about the message itself. The most holy aspect of that weekend has been the dedicated space men had to sit with God on their own with questions that challenged them to look deeply at themselves. There is not a magic formula. We don’t fix everything in a man’s life in a single weekend conference. What can happen, however, is the trajectory of their life can change. The space is created to unplug from the matrix for a few days, and without distractions, to be able to contemplate some important things in their life and faith. Read Wild at Heart and you’ll gain some understanding of our roots and where we take men.

So back to tomorrow and the start of our 10th Anvil. It’s a big deal that it is our 10th, but it is our first in 3 years.  Our last weekend in 2023, came on the heels of a life and death battle for my wife, Amber, after she became ill in the fall of 2022, and was not expected to survive. Miraculously, she made it through. We had to move our fall weekend to that Spring because of the situation, and it was a good and holy time. Bouncing back from that ordeal to be able to step back into that space was so great. It did my heart a lot of good and I knew God was not done.

We planned our next weekend for a year later, in early 2024. By January 2024, I felt an ache in my soul that we needed to postpone that weekend, after discussing with my team, we agreed that it was a good idea. Little did I know that a month later, my 24-year-old son, Brandon, was going home to Jesus. He stepped into eternity on February 27th.  We were, of course, devastated. What do you even do with the loss of a child and all the questions that surrounded that? 3 months later, the grief caused my wife’s condition to flare, and she was back on life support, and again, doctors thought she would not survive, but miraculously, she did. What a rollercoaster of emotion in and out of grief.

Time moves on. Every so often, someone would ask me if The Anvil would return. In the months after my wife’s last hospital stent, there was a time when I thought that it had maybe reached its expiration date. Maybe it was time to move on. I did not know. Again, every so often, someone would ask if Anvil was coming back. I remember at one point, though I never vocalized it to anyone, I would get fairly pissed. I was nowhere near the position to take on that assignment again and part of me would wonder if people really understood what I was going through. That was not often, but I would be lying if I said I never thought about it.

My word from God as I entered 2024 was “low seat.” I honestly did not know what that meant at the time, before everything happened. It hit me later, that it was my season to step back. I did not have to lead for a time. I remembered something my friend Morgan from Become Good Soil shared years ago, which was “Take the low seat, until God makes it impossible to do.” Doing so gave me the space and capacity to grieve as I needed to and allow God to do the work on my heart.

As we entered 2025, the words that God gave was “patient endurance.” The year became about waiting on God. He was still refining me and then things began to shift. As the year progressed, I could feel an awakening happen in me again. Vocationally, things were getting in line with my passions, and I felt I was finally able to find the space to even think. I could go into that so much more, but I’ll leave it for now.

Remember the last part of that quote…”until God makes it impossible to do.” As we entered the quarter of 2025, I felt that nudge, again. The nudge to step back out and entertain the idea of bringing The Anvil weekend back. This was different. It was more than just sharing this message with the men; it was also a revival of my heart and soul. I sat with God on it and it felt like it was time.

Now, here we are. Tomorrow, we go back on mission for the first time in 3 years. The team of men that have surrounded his mission with me, has meant the world. Their patience and understanding, while I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death, has been tremendous. We go on mission tomorrow! I never know what God will do when we step onto those grounds. What I have learned, and this goes with every aspect of life, is to sit with eager anticipation and expectation of His goodness. It is in His hands now!

Shaking Under My Feet

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There have been a lot of good things that have happened these last few years.  2 years ago, I completed my Counseling Masters and have been working with people the last 3 years.  That has been very fruitful and challenging all at the same time.  At the same time, I partnered with some brothers to begin leading weekend men’s boot camps (not your normal retreat).  During all this time, I’ve held on the work that I’ve been in the last 14 years.  Needless to say, it’s been a very busy time.

My desire these last years, has been to transition to be able to minster and counsel with people on a full-time basis.  Of course, there is still the responsibility of providing for my family and ensuring we keep a roof over our heads, etc.  With that, it was essential to continue my full-time job.  Thankfully, by and large, it has been good to be there and I’ve enjoyed the team I’ve worked with.  At the same time, they’ve been very gracious to allow me flexibility to pursue my hearts desire as well.

With that, I can honestly say, that there was not a major strategy on how to move and I feel I became comfortable in the routines, even in the busyness.  A few weeks back, things were shifted, where I had to put counseling work on hold for a time.  That was very difficult, especially with some of the folks I’ve worked with for some time and the work we were doing.

With the changes, I’ve had to do some serious introspective and spent a great deal of time seeking God for discernment and wisdom.  I also received some wonderful counsel from trusted brothers and allies.  With all of that, it seemed God was telling me, “you’ve gotten a little comfortable.  What are you going to next?  Nothing is going to be dropped in your lap.”  Seems like good wisdom from my dad.  “You’ve got to work for it.”  Looking back, it definitely seems that after finishing the Masters degree and that pressure falling away, I allowed things to cruise and stay status quo.

Now this year, some big moves have been made.  From the continued growth of our retreats, we have since a established a new ministry called Deep Roots Ministry.  This gives a vehicle to manage these retreats and provide even more to the people we reach as God moves us forward.  At the same time, things overall, stayed the same.  Some planning toward the ministry, but everything else stayed status quo.

So now what?  As was mentioned, a point was reached where the things I’d been working for had to be put on hold. At first, I did not know what to do.  So many thoughts raced through my mind.  Should do this or that?  Should I take a sabbatical or continue on?  What was the right thing?

After many days of praying through this and having some really good conversations with my wife and trusted brothers, it became clear what was needed.  I was able to step back, see the bigger picture and began to lay out a plan to make the changes with time and without making hasty decisions.  Slow and steady and strategic.

What was even more wild and all I could do was laugh and tell God “I hear you,” was that the very next day, we received our 501(c)3 approval for our ministry, which cleared the way to seek financial partners and so on.

Isn’t disruption such a key way in which God works?  You see story after story in Scripture and we’ve seen in play out in moderns days of people who God disrupted in some way to get our attention and follow Him.  It took losing the most important man in my life a decade ago to get my attention the first time.  Now it seems he’s gotta shake the ground under my feet again.  It would seem that this is often needed.  In our day-to-day lives, there is so much going on, that often times we get pulled into routines that keep us from really seeing what is on the horizon and thinking how to get there.

What I’m reminded of, also, is that this is all a continued opportunity to build deeper union with God.  That through our trials and uncertainties we can endure because of the promised hope of Jesus Christ.  As Paul writes, in Romans 5 that “suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”  So God is continuing to try lead us and train us up through these things.  Yes, God gives us more than we can handle, but he does not give more than He can handle.  Anytime we encounter these moments we have to ask, “Okay, God, what are you trying to tell me here?”  It’s okay to stop and ask Him.  You never know what He may be up to.