Category Archives: 4 Stream Blog

It’s Never Too Late For Change

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I’ve written about finding your calling many times.  The search in trying to determine what it is God leading you too and then making the steps and having the courage to make the change.  I started this blog over two years ago as I started feeling like God was calling me to something new.  The only problem was that I never stopped and listened enough to what it is he was calling me to.  I just knew it was a far cry different from where I was.  I have been blogging for many years and keep on doing so just because I love to write.  I love to share different things that are on my mind and hopefully make people think and to form their own conclusions.

In the last few months, that calling has become more and more intense.  The closer I got to attending Wild At Heart, the more intense the battles became.  It’s like the enemy knew that God was truly going to gain another warrior.  Not just someone who sits by and pays lip service and just sounds off with opinion, but someone who is ready to battle for the kingdom.

I learned who I was in Colorado.  I learned beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was God’s son.  I know I have referred to this experience a lot, but it had more of an impact on me than I had ever thought possible.  I prayed many times in the weeks leading up to that week that God would open my heart to all he had for me and good gracious….he certainly did.  It was and has been like a whole new awakening.  I have come alive like I never thought possible in my heart and now with the resolve to go where God is calling.

For a long time I was afraid of risk.  I was afraid to rock the boat and make bold changes.  I became complacent and was comfortable with where I was.  I thought it was the right thing for my family and for me to just do what seemed to be expected despite the fact that I no longer found any joy in what I did.  The meaning has been lost and I was living in such a small story.  God has called me and he’s called all of us to a larger story.  It’s just a matter of whether we respond to it.

Life is so full of risk, and following our hearts and God’s calling can be quite a risk.  It can be unnerving to not know what is around the corner.  To not know what the outcomes will be.  We have to decide to choose God first, though, and to trust him.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.”  I believe in this statement.  God is not going to leave you where you are.  He will go wherever you are to pull you from your old and false self and your life of sin and from the jaws of death.  He will go there but will not leave you there.  He will pull you out.  Likewise, he’s not going to lead you down a path that would not be for his glory.  That’s what it’s about after all.  To glorify God in all that we do and with all that we are as his children…as his beloved and his image bearers.

So the question remains; is it ever too late to make a change.  The answer is that it’s never too late.  I don’t care where you are in life.  It is never too late, especially if God is leading you and you are seeking his counsel through it all.  It’s never too late.

For me, God’s leading me in some awesome directions.  He’s put some awesome men in my life that I know I can turn to for counsel, the knights of my round table if you will, and He’s counseling me through it as well.  I also have the full support and love of my wife and children.  What the end results will be, it’s hard to say, but God is calling me to service and I am answering.  It’s going to take some schooling and learning on my part as I move to a world of christian counseling, writing, and ministry work, but I’m so excited.  It’s like a whole new beginning.  All I can do is trust and leave the outcomes up to God.

Where is God calling you to live courageously?  It’s never too late!

Let God Father You

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I have come into a lot of growth over the last couple of years.  Learning more about God and growing in my faith in Jesus Christ.  One of the biggest things I have grown into is learning about God as my Father, my true Father.  My life has gone through a series of twists and turns in the fathering I received.  Events growing up led to a mix of seeing my earthly dad as a great man, while at the same time coming to terms recently that I was never fully initiated as man nor received the full validation I needed and that every boy needs coming into manhood.  I married early and pulled away from the family.  As I neared my 30s, things began to change in how our relationship grew stronger.    We spent some great times just hanging out and talking.  Then all of a sudden, he was gone.  I’ve shared this on many times, but it ripped my heart out losing him the way we did.

So what to do with all of this.  Not having my dad any longer I was lost.  I grew in my faith and it began to have a lasting effect on my life and my family.   I looked to God as my father now and I have wanted to grow in knowing him.  Something changed in me recently though while at Wild At Heart.  Before, I was looking to God as a backup father.  My dad, gone, so who do I turn to.  Ephesians 1 tells us that God is the originator though.  He adopted us into his family as sons, as his sons and daughters.  Verse 4 says, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ.”  He is not the backup plan. He was my Father before I was created and has always been, and will always be.  God desires to bring us into Sonship with Him.  To allow him to Father us.

Morgan Snyder from the Ransomed Heart team shared some pretty remarkable things about this and has some awesome audio about Sonship on the Ransomed Heart site.  One thing He mentioned is that God is orchestrating a rescue of us.  Our earthly dad was meant to point us to the father, but never sufficient to take the Father’s place.  This is just a small snippet, but it’s pretty profound.  The invitation of the Father is to be his son.  He wants to Father us.

What does this do for our hearts and our lives when we allow God to father us?  One thing I can say for sure is that you feel alive.  Aside from addressing my wounds, the thing that made me most alive in my journey at Wild At Heart was truly learning that I was God’s son and that he believed in me as a man.  I heard one of the guys say that it allows us to be young again.  I believe this to be true.  In coming alive, I feel like I can do anything again and allowing God to Father me is leading me in a pretty awesome direction.  He’s initiating me into adventures and what feels like a new beginning.  I noticed my overall demeanor has changed.  I think it brings us to a point to where we just enjoy life.

We need to seek Sonship and seek God to Father us each day.  Know that we are our Father’s son and he loves us and believes in us.  Whether or not you had a good relationship with your earthly dad, coming to God as the Father is on a whole new level.  He has a name and identity for us. Spend time in prayer with him and get to know him for who he is and he will tell you who you are.  I’m paraphrasing, but George McDonald said that it’s better to not know the Father than to have learned him wrong.

Being a son was a the center of Jesus’s life.  He sought the Father for everything he did.  He came to do the will of the Father and new he was the apple of his Father’s eye.  He was one with Him In John 14, Philip asked Jesus to show them the Father.  Jesus replied that anyone who has seen him has seen the Father.  They are one.  We are the image bearers of God and God desires us to be drawn into Sonship with him as well.  In John 17, Jesus’s invitation is to know the Father through Christ.  This is the path to eternal life.  In Romans 8 Paul says that all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves.  Instead you received a spirit of sonship.

The invitation is right there.  God desires to Father us.  To bring us close to him as his sons.  God has rigged the world so that it does not work, apart from him.  Without him, things fall apart.  With God, there is life through Jesus.  The enemy has used many tools to draw us away from this.  In our wounds with our earthly dads or other men in our lives. The enemy hates the father son connection and is out to destroy it.  Look to the Father though and he will reveal the Truth to you.  Look in his Word and all he has shared.  He desires for us to be drawn to him as sons.

As you grow in Sonship and I am still growing, you’ll be amazed at the ways God will Father you.  He will come at you directly.  He will also use other people in your lives to Father you.  I have definitely found this to be true in the guys I’ve connected with and the conversations I’ve been able to share with others.  I may not have recognized it all before, it God’s definitely showing it to me now.  It’s pretty amazing to see.  There’s a place for us all in the fellowship of man if we open our hearts to the Father and let him in.

Seeking the Counsel That We Need

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In this world we are filled with joys and sorrows.  We have things that happen to us through the years that seem to define who we become, whether right or wrong. We suffer from wounds that drive many of the choices we make and even the sin we live in.  Those wounds often get buried deep in our hearts for a long time.  We hide behind our fig leafs and those things never come to the surface.  We don’t let anyone in and then we let those wounds define a false self in us and for the world to see.  This could be wounds you suffered from your parents, siblings and other family, anyone else around you.  When they hit you as a kid they hurt.  You may not realize it, but they really begin to take hold of your life.

I’ve suffered through many of my own wounds.  Many I suppressed for a long time.  I bared a great deal of weight on my shoulders and tried so hard to prove myself in my family life and work life.  I realized I was missing a key part of it all.  God.  I came to believe in Christ long ago, but it was not until my 30s until my life really began to point more seriously toward him.  Now at 36, I’ve crossed a whole new bridge as I’ve come to realize that I really needed Jesus to get down deep into my heart to uncover those wounds so that they could be brought to the surface and nailed to Cross for good.  Jesus wants to restore our hearts.  He came to make our hearts new.  We have to be willing to let him though.  We have to open the door to let him in.  He opened the door to our salvation already now we have to let Him come in and heal us so we can walk through that door.

While I was in Colorado, Jesus dove way down deep in to my heart.  I had wounds in there I never wanted to admit or let out, but things that completely defined the false self I became for the first part of adulthood.  It hurt like I had never hurt before.  The thing was, this is exactly what I needed.  I needed the Lord to dig into my heart.  As I walked in communion with him I heard him initiating me into the man he new that I was. The man that I was meant to be all along.  I was never fully initiated into manhood and grew up faster than I should have.  Now I could hear the Father calling me HIS SON.  I was HIS SON and he called me out to be the warrior and the man I was meant to be.  Truly amazing the intimate counseling that He offers us.

Ephesians 4:23 says to “let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.”  I think I referenced this in my last post, but it is so true.  If you let the Holy Spirit in.  If you let God into your heart and into your wounds he will renew your thoughts and your attitudes. Verse 24 says, “Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.”  When we allow him fully into our lives to counsel and heal us, we come closer to the Father.  We are his image bearers and being renewed in him gives us our new and true nature.

This does not just stop with my trip out to Colorado though.  I now know I need to seek God’s counsel for so much more.  When wounds begin to resurface or when struggles come that seem to pull me down, I know I can walk with God and talk with him.  He will pull me from the struggles I find myself in.  None of us have to live in the dark places of our wounds.  Many choose to, but we don’t have to and Christ set us free from the enemies grip on us and our wounds.  We are told in Colossians 2, that Jesus disarmed the angels of darkness.  We don’t have to bound to them any longer or let them dwell in our wounds.  Christ won that battle.

God knows our hearts (Luke 16:15).  He knows exactly where we are in our life and Jesus came to restore our hearts.  In order to do so however, we must let him come to where we are and into our wounds.  He won’t leave us there if we trust him, though.  The pain will be temporary and you will come alive from that.  I’ve never felt as alive as I do right now and I’m fired up to where God is leading.  I needed his counseling first in order to come to where I am.

“God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.”  – Max Lucado

It’s A Daily Battle

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I have realized that we are a world at war, but this past weekend it really hit me that we are locked in battle not just occasionally, but every single day. It’s unrelenting. The enemy tries to take us out in ways you would not think about.  I know I have written about spiritual warfare a few times.  At Wild At Heart Boot Camp, it was definitely touched on significantly.  Spiritual Warfare is a part of our daily life and will find us no matter where we are.  A friend I met at Boot Camp who has been attending Ransomed Heart events for some time explained that what we retain about 20% while at Boot Camp and the remaining 80% comes after.  I have found that to be true so far as my heart continues to be filled with all I have learned and I immerse in Scripture and prayer each day.

The spiritual warfare and the issue with our daily battles came through and hit me hard this past weekend and in the most subtle way.  I began the day like normal with working out and then diving into Scripture.  I am currently studying through book of Ephesians.  There’s a story behind that, which I’ll get into another time, but God led me to dive into Ephesians.  I was a little rushed on Saturday morning to get out of the house as we had  a field workday for my son’s high school baseball team and then they had an inner-squad scrimmage.  Beautiful day and a great time with our baseball family.  Something lingered however.  Due to rushing, I did not make the time I wanted to journal and really dive into prayer like I try to each day.

Again, did not think too much of this at the time, but as the day wore on I kept getting thoughts in my head about not doing so.  I was constantly having to deflect agreements with the enemy about my commitment to God and to my spiritual growth.  I kept hearing thoughts like, “see, you don’t have the endurance for this race. You’re not committed.”  I had to fight that and it bothered me.  I had to step back from that and renounce those agreements.  It hurt to hear those thoughts.  When you get those negative feelings, it’s easy to just agree and say yes, that’s right.

On Sunday morning, I took more time to dive into this thought in my Scripture reading and thinking about the spiritual warfare we face.  The enemy is literally trying to take us out every single day.  There is no hiding from this. Think about it.  Jesus had to encounter spiritual warfare consistently.  Look at Matthew 4 and his time in the wilderness and being tempted by Satan.  It was a relentless battle.  I was listening to a audio session from John Eldredge and he referenced this and the fact that this was Jesus’s private battle.  No body was with Him.  However, God felt it important enough to share.  Part of the reason would seem to be that this is a serious issue we all face and even Jesus had to face this.  Being taunted and tempted for being the Son of God.  Jesus warned us about the enemy coming like a thief coming steal, kill, and destroy.  It is very real.

So in dealing with this daily battle, what do we do.  First, we need to readily recognize that it exists.  We cannot live in our own little worlds where nothing happens.  Simply does not work that way.  We have to be immersed in prayer and in God’s Word to be ready to deal with each days battle.  In Ephesians 4:23, Paul says, “Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.”  We have to allow the Holy Spirit to empower us and prepare for the onslaught to come. In Ephesians 6:11-12 he says, “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against the strategies of the devil.  For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies,  but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against might powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

It’s all right there.  Spiritual warfare is a daily part of our life.  This past Saturday, was probably my first real bought with it since Wild At Heart and really recognizing it for what it was.  On Monday, it hit me even harder and it was a unrelenting battle.  Amber and I are making some changes to our room to give us an area to sit and read or pray or what have you, which I am all about.  On Monday, while I was working she began the process of moving stuff and cleaning the space.  Then it hit me out of nowhere.  I was filled with this resentment and anger for some reason about it and it just kept on for a few hours.  The enemy was digging at me and it was all total B.S. and I had to fight that back.  I know this won’t be the last time either.

We have to arm ourselves everyday.  We have to lean to God and keep our hope and faith in the promise of Christ Jesus.  A.W. Tozer said, “Christ in you, the hope of glory. I’m not afraid of the devil. The devil can handle me – he’s got judo I never heard of. But he can’t handle the One to whom I’m joined; he can’t handle the One to whom I’m united; he can’t handle the One whose nature dwells in my nature. “

Satan cannot handle the One whose nature dwells in us.  By that, I’d say we are victorious already in Him.  We need need to resist the devil and choose God first always.  The victory is in choosing to resist and the outcome is up to God.  There are unseen spiritual forces and if don’t resist, who will.  If we turn from our faith and let evil win, just imagine where you would be.  We are victorious in Christ, so it’s in him our hope rests.  Recognize the battles for what they are every day. Don’t deny they exist or you will be taken out quickly.  Choose to resist and let the Holy Spirit arm you with the armor of God that comes through faith in Christ.

What Are You Chasing?

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We all have heard people talking about finding their calling.  Many people are spending their life trying to search for the calling they have and a lot of times it is their career choices.  I know I have been down this path quite a bit in recent years, myself.  There often comes that point in your life where you find that this is just not me.  I am not where I know I should be.  This is not my calling.  So when those moments of realization happen a number of different things happen.  The individual can leave what they’re doing and jump into something that speaks to them in that moment.  They can just accept the security they are in, whether it’s life sucking or not and just deal with their circumstances.  They can seek God and see where He leads them.  Follow me here.

God is calling all of us into something bigger than ourselves.  He is calling us to a larger story.  The problem is that too many people themselves chasing their calling first.  They see the next new thing to jump at, a lot of times, it is with career choices, and just make the leap.  Only problem is, later on they find it was a mistake and move on to the next or they just don’t have the commitment to stick with their choices and jump around never fully finding their full calling in life.

On the flip side, many people, and I have been in this boat myself, find that they are just unwilling to accept any risk in life and enjoy the benefits of security in working in that stable corporate environment or just meaningless work. They accept the hand that the world’s dealt to them and where the world told them they should be.  This circumstance will often times suck the life right out of someone.  They find themselves isolated.  They are miserable in what they do even though they are good at it.  Even if they are not miserable, they just accept the ride. I know I’m not the only one here.

So what to do instead?  We feel called, but we don’t know what to.  Here’s the plain solution.  Seek God first.  Don’t chase a calling, chase God.  Seek Him everyday in prayer on your own.  Find time to just get by yourself in silence and just talk to Him.  Ask Him where He wants you go.  Ask Him what assignments He has for you.  Give Him all glory and honor no matter where you are in life.  You seek Him first and watch Him work.  He will move you in incredible ways and bring you to what it is that will make your soul just come alive.  Let God guide you first and reveal that calling to you.  I’ve been growing tremendously in my spiritual and prayer life and seeking where God wants me to be and it is absolutely amazing to see Him responding.  He’s transforming my heart and moving me to something new.

Now that does not mean we all just need to quit what we’re doing today.  For many, God may want you right where you are.  For others, He may be wanting you to move.  He may want you to take risks.  He led many people through scripture along through risky situations, but it was all for His glory.  Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, Paul, and of course Jesus.  All of their situations involved risk, but they sought God through it all and wanted to carry out His will.  We’ve also seen the peril of what will happen when God was not chosen first and being passive sets in.  The fall of creation was due to Adam sitting idle and choosing Eve over God.  He was right their by Eve, and allowed her to sin and then made the choice to follow suit.

We have to be willing to take that risk in our lives.  If you feel that God is ready to move you, don’t sit idle and not act.  Be conscious about what He’s telling you. Continue to seek His council through it and also seek the council of people you trust to be honest with you about it.  When God reveals this calling to you and you act, you will come alive like never before.  Chase and choose God first, not calling and then watch Him work in your life and around you in His larger story.

Unplug…It’s A Must

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Have you ever stopped to just realize how dependent we are on technology now.  Do you even remember what life was like before you had a cell phone?  It’s amazing how our society has changed so much in the last 15-20 years.  We have become a society that is absolutely addicted to technology, particularly our cell phones and tablets.  Yes, they provide a great way to stay in contact with each other, but have you ever just stopped and thought about just how much they run your life.  And with that, it can begin to take you away from things that God wants you to experience with Him or with those around you.   We’ve been guilty of this sometimes in my house, where we just spend too much time in our phones and less time communicating with each other or just spending time.

Hear’s an example of how addicted we are and it did not hit me until the Wild at Heart Boot Camp.  The very first night, we were asked to turn our cell phones off. Now no body said anything, but John pointed to something there.  Inside us, and I know I felt it, our hearts almost gasped.  It’s like our minds are telling us….Noooooo!  That’s how addicted we have become.  Our lives are ran by our technology.  We see it on the road with people constantly on their phones driving…guilty here!  Walking around a store or in the office, people are always in their phones.  We just cannot let go, there is always something to connect to; a meeting or what have you.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love technology.  It has enabled me to share my thoughts with so many people though this blog.  It enables me to stay connected with friends and family all over the world. It can, however get very dangerous though if we let it run our lives.  If we just spend our time obsessed with social media, email, internet, and apps, we miss so much in this world.  We forget how to relate and connect with people on a personal level and not just through text or status updates.

Simple solution y’all….Unplug!  That’s all there is to it.  Take some time and just unplug from the world.  My 4 days unplugged in Colorado was something truly amazing.  Something I desperately needed for my heart and my sanity.  Take some time, whether it’s a day or a weekend.  Turn off the phones, tablets, and computers and get away.  Go somewhere.  May go camping, hiking, fishing, or hunting.  If you don’t care for the outdoors, go stay in a hotel away from everything.  Get in the car and just hit the road.  Do something disconnected from everything.

You will be surprised at the clarity you get when you do.  Take in the world around you.  Spend time with God in complete quite and solitude.  It’s unreal how much you’ll realize that time was needed.  I don’t get enough of these moments, but I will be making more of these moments.  We all need it.  Get away and refuel.  It will do your soul a lot of good.

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Healing the Broken

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We are all broken people.  We all have lives that are filled with wounds and jacked up places that when you get down to the deep core of your heart will break you down.  I don’t care who you are.  If you have never allowed those things to come to surface to reconcile and renounce them, then you can never fully come alive and break away from that struggle.  Your heart can never be set free.  If you sit in your daily life and just let things be, one day, it will either all blow up in your face in some way.

There is one answer to your brokenness.  That answer is God.  He wants nothing more than to restore you and pull you out of that struggle.  He will go right into the heart of it all to pull you from the fire.  He is orchestrating and rescue of your heart.  We have to be willing to repent, let go, and forgive.  Find it in ourselves to let it all come to light and drive forward from that. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”  Job 5:18 says, “For though he wounds , he also bandages. He strikes, but his hands also heal.”

Now you may read that last verse if you’ve never heard it and think, whoa! God wounds us and strikes us?  That sounds like a double edged sword.  Why would he want to wound and strike us.  Well, I’ll tell you why.  Sometimes we need to return to our wounds in order to be bandaged and healed.  At Wild At Heart, John Eldredge shared that God is raising the fatherless place so He can heal and restore us to Him.  When we have been wounded in our lives, sometimes it takes the need to go back to that place in your heart.  To feel that pain again, in order to bring it out and be able to truly renounce it and be healed from it.  It’s not easy to do by any stretch but often it may be necessary if we are just filled with junk that just will not come to the surface and we continue to make our agreements with the evil one there.

I’ll share something from my own experience here.  I’ve gone through some ordeals in my life.  Junk in my early years that lead me to seeking validation from my wife as opposed to God and then with the loss of my Dad 5 years ago, to be in a world of just utter brokenness.  When I was unplugged from the world and sitting in total prayer and communion with God, He brought it all out.  Things I never thought would come to the surface, I never even thought about in my story, or would never admit to even myself came to light.  God reached right in and pulled it out and said “here you go.  This is what you need to deal with.  This is what has made your false self.”

But then He said, “this is not who you are, though.  You are more than this.  You are a son ready to come alive, you are a son ready to do battle.  You are a son…You are MY SON. ”

God reached right into me.  He broke me down to my core like I never had been before, but then allowed me to be healed.  He pulled me from where I was and where I had been in my life.  He brought me to life like I had never been before.  He brought me into sonship and showed me that He wants to Father me the rest of the way.  To let go of all the junk and let Him Father me now.  Let Him be my Dad.  He is my true Dad after all just as He is for all of you.

In his book “Waking the Dead,” John Eldredge shares that “The work of Christ in healing the soul is a deep mystery, more amazing than open-heart surgery.”  It is absolutely amazing.  Something we can never fully understand in our own fallen wisdom, but it is most definitely true.  The Lord has many ways that He will reach into lives and heal us.  He takes our heart in pieces and puts it all back together again.  It’s quite amazing to see and be a part of.  To know that we are loved that much as God’s children.  He will will pull us from wherever we are and makes us new.  We just have to be willing to say to God, “Yes Father, I will let you heal me.”

The Realness of The War We Live In

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It’s been a couple of days since I returned home from the Wild At Heart Boot Camp.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I had a powerful experience while in Colorado  The challenge faced, however is what next.  It can be very easy in this world to go back to life as normal and not put a thought again to the experience.  I could put aside all that God showed me and move back to my work life and not do anything further.  I didn’t get a chance to meet everybody, and I would hate it, but I am certain this happens for guys.  You get back to the world and everything begins to revert.  I pray that this is not the case, but this world and the enemy are vicious.

When we are back to our normal lives it can be very easy to make agreements with what the enemy and the world tells us.  Most men are taken out because they make agreements with the enemy.  These agreements can be very simple or more complex.  You may think you just don’t have it in you to pursue what you feel called to.  You may just think you’re not good enough or don’t have the strength.  These are agreements the the enemy may throw at you and if you agree it can take you out. Once you make those agreements, everything begins to filter through them and the enemy will setup shop right there.

We are constantly at war in this world.  Coming back from an event as powerful as the Wild At Heart Boot Camp, the enemy is going to throw whatever he can at you to pull you back down.  I can hear him trying to pull me back.  I know it’s only been a couple of days, but the battle begins now with even more relentlessness.  I have to arm myself each day in prayer and the Word in order keep myself from falling back to the old man or my false self.

1 Peter 5 says that we must stand firm against the enemy and be strong.  He prowls around like a like looking for someone to devour.  In John 10:10, Jesus tells us that “the thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.”  Jesus had to encounter this battle everyday.  Spiritual warfare is very real and we have to be armed and ready to deal with anything the enemy will throw at us.  Jesus did not mean for us to come along and stand by and take it like good little Christians.  No…Jesus came not to bring peace, but a sword (Matthew 10:34).  He came to do battle.  God is a warrior. Exodus 15:3, “The Lord is a warrior; The Lord is His name.”  Man is a warrior; Man is his name.  We are made to fight and fight we must.

As John told us at Boot Camp, denial of the heart is the heart of human struggle.  Many in this world, even in churches are like the Hobbits in The Lord of The Rings.  Naive, clueless, or in flat out denial of how ugly the battle actually is.  Look at our brothers and sisters in the faith getting martyred around the world because they refuse to renounce their faith.  The enemy is out to destroy our faith.  When Satan was cast out of Heaven, he decided to go after God’s heart by destroying the thing He really loved.  That’s His image bearers…us.

For me, this is a time for resolve.  To stand firm in my faith and where God has taken me.  To arm myself everyday and everything under my authority in Christ.  I know I am trouble for the enemy now as is anyone who will stand strong in their faith.  We cannot skate along singing kumbaya pretending nothing is happening.  Call evil for what it is.  Just like the Islamic evil that is faced everyday in the Middle East.  It is the enemy at work.  We have to stop sitting in our little small world and stand firm.

So arm yourself.  Don’t sit back waiting for things to happen.  Don’t let the enemy sink his claws into you.  Don’t walk through life alone and let the enemy push you deeper or back into your wounds and agreements.  Stand firm in your faith in Christ.  Ephesians 6 says be strong in the Lord…put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be ready to resist the enemy.  I’m no longer going to be partially in.  I am all in now for good.

A Whole New World After Wild At Heart Boot Camp

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The last four days have been absolutely amazing. I had the chance to spend time in the mountains of Colorado and attend the Wild At Heart Boot Camp. It was an experience like I could have never imagined. I am going to attempt to do this Boot Camp some sense of justice in sharing some of my experience. First, if you have never heard of the book, Wild At Heart, it is a book that I would highly recommend. A friend of mine, KC, gave me this book a few years back when I was going through a great deal of life struggle and trying to return to God. The book sat on my desk for well over a year before I finally picked it up in the summer of 2013. When I finally did read it, it was life changing for me and really began to drive my journey. Definitely a must read.

Wild At Heart was written many years ago, by John Eldredge. He heads up Ransomed Heart Ministries in Colorado Springs.The unique thing about John is that he is real. He is not a religious theologian and is truly after God’s heart and helping people find their way to God. John and his small team conduct this and other Boot Camps. They are there in person and genuinely care about the hearts of men and helping them discover who they really are in God’s eyes, the image bearers of God, and discovering the wild and masculine nature of God and themselves. The journey also takes you through your wounds, renouncing and forgiveness of those that wounded you and of yourself, discovering your real name and identity in God’s eyes, becoming the warrior we are meant to be, learning to pursue the beautiful side of God’s image in Eve, and discovering that we are in fact God’s sons and how he wants to Father us into our inheritance in His kingdom.

Let me just say that this is not your run of the mill, hand holding, singing by the fire, men’s retreat. This is a raw and real treasure hunt getting into the heart of a man. The Ransomed Heart team, guides you through a real discovery journey in addition to a great deal of time to yourself to just walk and commune with God. Again it far surpassed anything I could have hoped for or expected. In my time of prayer and being with God I heard Him talking with me like I never had before. He opened my heart, opened my eyes, and allowed me to discover freedom and my true self. Putting aside the poser in me and the fig leaf that has plagued man since the fall of creation when Adam chose Eve over God. If you think I am crazy about hearing God speak to me, you’re wrong. He talks to us, we just have to be willing and open to hear it. All those thoughts that run through your head are not just you. You just have to listen.

Let me get into the setting. We were high in the Colorado mountains at Crooked Creek Ranch, near Fraser, CO at about 8,500 feet. What an awesome and majestic setting with the snow covered mountains rising high around us. Crooked Creek is an incredible place. It is a Young Life Camp and they set it up right. I was completely unplugged from the world for the first time in a long time. That in of itself was incredible. I was able to eliminate all distractions and let my heart experience every aspect of what God had in store. In the time leading up to the trip, I knew the enemy was attacking me. He was pissed and trying to dissuade me. I could feel it in my attitude at times, constant headaches, and feeling anxious and fears. He was relentless, so I had to be relentless in my prayer and arming myself. Getting there was half the battle.

So now I am there. What to expect. First, I was fortunate to be roomed with guys from Georgia. That was cool. Guys from all walks of life. Pastor, retail, emergency services, doctors, and more. All different guys, but all on the same journey of discovering who they were as men and discover everything God had for them. I had the chance to really bond with these guys I now call my Band of Brothers. This is something I never had. Guys I could do life with, so very blessed to have these guys come into my life and share the experience with them. These are connections I look forward to maintaining once home.

Through the experience, I was also able to further discover the larger story I am apart of. How my life plays an intricate part of God’s larger story. There are some, even so called religious leaders and Christians that will say God does not have time for all the small things in our life. I’ve heard this before. Let me tell you, He cares about every single bit of it. He cares if we skate through life in our own small story. He cares about the wounds that help bring us into sin and our false self. He cares about every single bit of. Above all, He has told us our hearts are good and made new because of Christ Jesus. Our hearts are not bad and we do not have to spend life carrying the burdens of our wounds. We can have life, in Christ, and we can live free from the bondage of sin and the religious veil that God himself tore in two, but so many religious ‘christian’ denominations have put back up with rules and false dogmas that are not from God and keep people in bondage.

So let’s journey a little into the sessions we did have. John and his team talked through various aspects of the masculine soul, our woundedness, our real identity, the warrior in all men, the lover in us and the beauty to rescue, and our place as God’s sons and allowing God to Father us as He desires. These guys shared so much Truth from Scripture and then their personal testimonies and struggles in life. It helped to make it all very real and relatable. We spent time in deep prayer together as a group, about 440 guys. Something else I have never really allowed is people to pray over me in a time where I was just broke down. Two team members walked to me, sat with me, listened to my story and then just prayed over me. They genuinely cared and it was something I desperately needed. I have always put on a false self shouldering many burdens that weren’t mine to bare, even acting strong when I was completely broken. I could bare my heart to these guys and my Band of Brothers free from any judgment, and they the same. Words can’t even begin to describe the power God poured into this time.

The greatest part of it all was being able to sit by myself or walk around and just talk to God and listen to what He had to share with me. Those moments of prayer, listening in silence with no distractions , and writing in my journal what I was hearing was incredible. God helped me to renounce my wounds and agreements, discover my real self in His eyes, discover the warrior in me, where I need to better pursue my bride and better initiate and validate my children as they come into being young men and women, and validating me as a man bringing me into sonship with Him. Simply incredible time with the Father. I could go on there forever.

Another part of the journey was the adventure. Discovering the sense of adventure that we lose when we leave childhood. Growing up it was all about adventure and discovery. We lose that when we become adults and the world tells us otherwise. There’s so much to see and learn about in God’s kingdom. As part of my journey, one of my brothers and I strapped on snowshoes and headed up the mountain behind us. Probably pushed near 9,500 to 10,000 feet. We met up with some other guys and made the long journey to the top and down the other side. The view of the valley from up there was breathtaking. It was a challenging hike trudging through 2+ feet of snow and tested you physically as a low lander, but we pushed through and made it. God had something special for the few of us that got to experience that.

All in all this was a journey I desperately needed and I am ever thankful that the Father brought me on this trip. I discovered a great deal about myself and feel very ready to go back to the world as a changed man with a renewed since of hope, armed with the armor of God, and ready to fight for my heart, the heart of my family, and to help others discover the heart of God and all God has for them in their lives. I am thankful for the connections and new Brothers.

I firmly believe in the ministry that God has inspired John and his team to share with the world. It’s very powerful and speaking to men and women all over the world. We had guys from Australia, Europe, Hong Kong, and Brazil among other places. People may think they are just about making money, but they are not. The cost paid for the event with all the food, which was awesome, accommodations, and resources was well worth it. It’s not overpriced. They only run a couple of these events a year on purpose, and all money for resources purchased there (books, DVDs, audio resources ) is donated. They don’t keep a dime of that. It’s very real. They invite us all to take the message and resources out to the world to share with others. I intend to do just that. You guys, I highly recommend you taking a look at this book and others they have if you have not. If you have questions about it, let me know. If you feel God calling you to a Boot Camp, go. You will not regret it. This won’t be my last event. Ladies, I recommend you check out Captivating, written by John and his wife Stasi. My wife read it and it’s been life changing. They also have a Captivating events for women in the same type of setting, but geared toward the feminine heart. My wife plans to attend one in the near future. Discover that you are the image of God’s beauty, mercy, and tenderness. You are the final touch of God’s creation.

I know I have shared a lot. This is just the tip of the sword of all I experienced. There is so much more, but I will leave it at this. Men, we are the image bearers of God’s wild and masculine side. We all need to discover this and get out from behind the fig leaf, the poser that we all are behind. Take this journey. Check out Ransomed Hearts website htttp://www.ransomedheart.com. It’s journey I promise you will never regret.

Until next time, God Bless.

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A New Adventure

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Currently I am sitting at 35,000 feet as I make my way to Colorado. This is a day I have been anticipating for a few months. I will be joining many other men for the Wild At Heart Boot Camp at Crooked Creek Ranch. It’s hard to describe my excitement for this event. As I wrote the other day, I have been making some serious intentional changes in my life and for my family. One of those is to no longer be a lone ranger in how I do life. To connect with more people, especially men of faith and to grow in my walk with God. This journey  to Colorado is a part of that. Also to make sure I spent more time waking with God every single day and not being only partially invested in my faith.

So as I sit on this flight, which by the way is the first time I have flown anywhere that was not work related, I am in awe of the  beauty I see looking over God’s awesome creation.  I have some times wondered if I could ever step away and do something like this. I sit in anticipation of what God will have in store for me. It’s a big journey into  unknown territory to a place I have never been.  I look forward to meeting new people, but above all to be at 10,000 feet in the remote wilderness where I  can have time to sit in solitude with just me and God.

As many of us do, I have often hid behind a fig leaf. An imposter would often reel it’s head and I walked through life, often ignoring God, being the nice guy, and trudging along doing what the world was expecting of me. God calls us all to so much more in our lives. To be after His heart, surrender to Him, and lead others to Him in many ways. As my wife and I were talking last night, she help me realize that God blessed me with a special gift to write. We all have a number of God given talents, and we should use those for His full glory. We have to choose whether to or not, however.  I am resolved to further use this gift to do just that. I no longer will sit on the sidelines and let my false self run the show.

Part of my daily reading today came out of Wild At Heart, which this Boot Camp is based on. It said, “The false self, our plan for redemption, seems so right to us. It shields us from pain and secures us a little love and admiration. But the false self is a lie; the whole plan is built on pretense. It’s a deadly trap. God loves us too much to leave us there. So he thwarts us, in many, many different ways.” God is always pursuing us. We have to resolve to let Him find us and help us to put our false self behind us and be authentic as His children.

So with that, I am taking part in a new adventure.  I have prayed about this day often for guidance and for God to open my heart to it all. I sometimes questioned my motives, but realized that the enemy has been trying to stop me from going. He knows that he his losing this battle and as he often does, he tries to fill us with doubt, fear, uncertainty, and false accusations. He does not relent, and the further away you pull, the harder he will fight. This is when we need to put on God’s armor; the helmet of salvation,  shield of faith, sword of the spirit,  and breastplate  of righteousness.  We must fight back. His armor is taking me to the unknown with confidence and strength I have never had. As Uncle Si says, “It’s on like bing-bong, jack!” I am ready to do battle and not let my heart fall to the enemy or this world.

I am extremely excited about what the next four days has in store for me. Look forward to the connections and growth. My heart is wide open for it all. I am blessed to have such an awesome wife who supports me in all this. God is doing awesome things in her heart as well which is bringing our marriage to another level. I will write about the experience after I return home. Till then, God Bless.