Category Archives: Receiving God’s Intimate Counsel

17 Years and Still Going Strong

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On this day, June 14, 1997, my wife, Amber, and I were married.  It’s amazing to think that we have been married for 17 years.  It’s been quite a journey too.  We married when we were both 18 years-old.  While for most, this would spell out potential disaster in marriage these days, I am so thankful that God blessed me with such an awesome women and I have been able to grow with her in my life.  Growing together from such a young age, we’ve had to learn a lot.  We started with nothing and starting a family early during our first year of marriage, we knew we had to work at making the marriage last and raising our children as best we can.

For those that saw “My Faith Testimony” a couple of month’s back, you’ll know that our faith was not always a central part of our marriage.  Our goal was focused on working hard and raising our children right, but not 100% focused on keeping our faith and God as a daily presence.  In recent years that has changed dramatically now and how transformed our home.  I’m grateful to have been able to grow through those struggles with Amber as we worked to figure things out together and draw closer together.  The more our faith has grown, the closer it has drawn us together too.

I’m thankful to God for the woman he chose to be my wife in this world.  She is an amazing woman and I could not be more happy having her in my life.  She has been able to put with me for the last 17 years and I look forward to her putting up with me, Lord willing, for many years to come.  She is the Masterpiece, the final touch, that completes me and our marriage.

Undeserving and Yet, Still Loved

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Have you ever had feelings where you questions if God truly loved you or us has human beings for that matter?  Maybe you’ve been through some very difficult times in your life or are going through that right now and it becomes difficult to feel His love.  Maybe you’ve been living a life filled with sinful patterns that are completely separated from God and in those times you reject Him by your actions.  Often times, we also put God’s love in the box of a verb and humanize the kind of love he has for us.

Do you know that no matter where you have gone in life and what you have done, God loves you.  In my Scripture reading this morning, it covered the time of Saul’s death.  Saul’s kingdom was taken from him by God when he did not follows the Lord’s commands.  David was then anointed to become the next king.  Saul was tormented constantly from that time.  It would almost seem that God hated Saul by sending the tormenting spirit.  Some may conclude that.  However, this is not God’s way, which as Isaiah said are not our ways.  In Ezekiel 33:11, God says that, “I take no pleasure in the death of wicked people.  I only want them to turn from their wicked ways so they can live.”

What God wants from all of us is to turn from our wickedness.  We are all filled with it.  Every single one of us ever since the Fall.  God is determined though.  He loves us so greatly that He will go through whatever lengths and go wherever needed in order to bring us back.  None of us are deserving of the love that God has for us.  He created us though so that we can glorify Him, and continue pursuing what He’s called us for.  Christ came and went ahead of us to prepare a seat at the wedding feast.  Christ showed us what it meant to fully live for God.  He went through so much torment and temptation himself during His time here, but he eagerly continued where God wanted Him.  So now we have a way to life through Christ.

We in no way deserved that, but God’s love is something different.  Actually, God is Love.  Beth Moore stated, “Love is not only something God does; love is something God is. God would have to stop being in order to stop loving. Again, our temptation is to humanize God, because we are limited to understanding love as a verb. With God, love is first a noun. It’s what and who He is.”  

With that, understand that no matter where you are in life, what you’ve been through, or even how you’ve sinned and lived, God loves you.  God will always pursue you.  What He wants is for us to turn from our sinful and flesh patterns, repent, and turn to Him.  Often times it takes some dire circumstances to bring us back.  It took the sudden loss of my Dad and being lost in that whirlwind to finally shake me and bring me back.  It could be any other of a number of circumstances for others.  Still for some, it simply takes knowing that no matter what, they are always loved.  God created each of us for a purpose and Loves us all the same.  Rejecting His love how we get fully separated from Him.

Like is said in a video I saw on YouTube.  The church is a hospital for the broken.  Often times to be truly saved and returned to God requires a time of being completely broken and lost where we finally cry out to God.  God does not want us to suffer, but He wants to us to turn to Him and learn to love Him and know that through all we’ve been through, all we’ve done, and no matter how much we don’t deserve it, He always loves us.

Let Christ Rule Your Heart

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Yesterday, I had the privilege of spending some morning Bible Study time with a group of guys where I worship at The Cross in Loganville.  First, what a great time it was.  To be honest, I have never sat down in that kind of setting to just fellowship and talk and discuss scripture with several other believers.  I have had one-on-one conversations many times in the past or with a couple of folks, but never really participated in that kind of Bible Study session.  Let me tell you, it was a great experience.  I got to meet some guys I have seen in passing attending worship, but never really got to know.  What I did learn, was that we all have a great story and testimony of how we came to faith in Christ and often times it came from various trials and difficulties of various kinds.  We all have story.

But getting to the root of the study, we focused on Colossians 3:15-17.  The first thing right out of the gate, Paul tells us to “let the peace that comes from Christ rule our hearts.”  This really struck with me as we discussed the versus and I listened to Tim, the lead pastor, break it down.  All too often in this life, we are quick to take action or speak without thinking.  We can start lashing out in anger or whatever it may be.  Either way, we can often get caught-up not letting Christ lead our words and actions.  This is often the case for many that may go to worship on Sunday, but raise hell the rest of the week.  I’ve been there too.  We need to let Jesus umpire our actions and keep us under control every single day.

In verse 16, it says, “Let the message of Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives.”  As we walk in close step with Christ, we should let all the He is and His message fill us each day.  Let Jesus speak through us also, as we share, teach, and counsel with others.  The line given in the study was “Speak only when spoken through.”  Don’t just spout of opinions and talk to be heard.  Let Christ fill your heart and the Word fill you and speak what is being spoken through you.  I have encountered many people that like to talk just to heard.  They don’t think about what their saying and just ramble on.  Stay away from that, and rather speak life.   In Toby Mac’s song, “Speak Life,”  he says the lines, “Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted; watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope, you speak love, you speak life.”

If we speak from the Good News and the promise for new life and salvation in Christ, its amazing the impact it has on folks.  Especially when they are lost and broken.  When you speak what Christ is speaking through you and through the Word, it will bring them to life.  We are a representative of Christ when we speak and testify and should remember that.  2 Corinthians 5:20 calls us “Ambassadors of Christ.”  I want to live that way and those of you that are believers, I pray that you will as well.  A gentleman in the Bible Study mentioned that the first thing we have in sharing about Christ is our own story.  Our own Testimony to how Christ has transformed our lives.  To be honest, it is one of the most powerful weapons we have as a body of believers.  We all have a story.  We all have taken paths through adversity, brokenness, and many other challenges.  We all have had times either completely separated from God or where we questioned Him.  Share your testimony and be contagious.  By sharing your own story, people can relate and then see just how much Christ has transformed your own life.

Let Christ rule your heart.

God Forgave You, So You Must Forgive

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It’s so cool how the Holy Spirit will prompt us to different things.  I’ve felt my heart pulling to this subject for a few days and through conversations with Amber, through reading, and through songs I have heard, I had to touch on forgiveness today.  This is a big area for us all.

How often have you encountered people and situations where you felt so hurt and betrayed that you found it to be impossible to forgive?  This could be unforgiveness to someone that cause you and your loved ones great pain by their actions whether it resulted in death or some other tragedy.  It could be dealing with parents that were absent in love and guidance growing up that brought lasting effects as you entered adulthood.  It could be dealing with friends or others that have just wronged you in someway.  These are just a few examples, but certainly areas where people may have trouble finding forgiveness within yourself for those people.  Each and everyone of us have dealt in someone with people that caused brought enough hurt that finding difficulty can be challenging and sometimes feel impossible.

This can be a difficult subject for many people.  It is very easy to hold on to pain and anger towards others for a long time.  Holding on to it so much that it consumes you and brings out more anger each time you think about it.  I’ve certainly dealt with my share of difficulties.  If you wanted my Testimony video, you hear me touch on this briefly.  After the loss of my Dad, I had a long bout of anger toward the individual that hit his commuter van, resulting in it losing control and causing his death.  I was very angry for some time.  I did not want to forgive and held a lot of hatred.  For the longest time, I did not know how to manage with that difficulty and if I could ever find it myself to forgive.

Around Christmas, 2011, I picked up a book called “The Shack,” written by WM. Paul Young.  If you have  not read this book, I highly recommend it.  This book turned my entire mindset around.  I finally found what it really meant to forgive.  It turned my views into understanding that I had to forgive.  I knew that I could no longer selfishly ask God why such things could happen also.  It was not His will that brought about that tragedy.  In this fallen world, however, we are not immune to evil and tragedy.  We have to embrace God’s love through that difficulty and know God for who He is. When we embrace His love, we learn what it means to forgive.

This same thing holds true through any difficult challenges we have with anyone and any situation.  God loves us through all of our pain and tragedy and even when we do wrong ourselves.  I read a great C.S. Lewis quote this morning that said, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”  Each of us has the responsibility to learn how to forgive others through any circumstance.  God loves each of us, so much that He was willing to do whatever it took to win us back, no matter how much we were consumed by this world and our offenses toward Him.  The book, “The Sacred Romance,” highlights that God loved us before creation and before the fall.  He has never stopped pursuing us and will go where ever it takes to get us back.  He loved us so much, he came into this world through Jesus to pour out his blood to forgive us all and secure our seat at the wedding feast.

Look to Jesus’s parable of the prodigal son.  Even after his son left and lived a wild and carefree life, when he reached the point of brokenness, the father welcomed him with open arms.  That is the type of love God has for us.  No matter where we go, He will always forgive and pull us back with open arms.  With that much love for us and that willingness to forgive, how could we not forgive others.

I know this can be a difficult subject for many.  You may be faced with the struggles of dealing with a situation that you may hold so much anger toward and have challenges with trying to forgive.  If this is you, spend some time in prayer and Scripture on this.  Understand that God loves you through everything you have done yourself and no matter how much you fall short of His glory.  He will always pursue us through our faults and sins.  God forgave us, so we must also forgive.

The Central Point of Any Marriage

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For those of you married out there, how many of you have had your marriage tested by worldly things (temptations, worries, anxieties, frustrations, etc)?  If you said you haven’t, then you may want to rethink that.  I believe every marriage can be tested at any point and is tested often.  This goes for people of faith and without faith.  As well know full well, the divorce rate in the United States is ridiculously high.  Why?  Because people lose site of where the strength of their marriage draw and the fail to turn to the one true source of everything when things get difficult.  They easily fall to temptations or they anger easily and snap at their spouses or continually worry about things in this world that quite frankly have no significance in your eternity.

Now, I’m not a marriage counselor, but having been married nearly 17 years and counting with the love of life, I know full well that every marriage can get tested, even mine.  The enemy is in always in this world and will try many tactics to try to tear into the covenant you’ve made with you spouse before God.  As you grow in faith, you can start to see this peak out its ugly head more often than you may expect and in the most simple ways.  It can cause you to lose site of your faith and in turn strain the strength of your marriage if you let it.

We are all called to glorify God in all we do.  This also applies to our marriage.  The bond your marriage is meant to reflect the image of God through the man and woman.  If you hold tight to one another, you glorify Him more.  Keeping Him first make it easier to brush aside the worldly struggles and temptations that can get thrown your way.  Paul said in Ephesians 5:31-32, “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.”  You are meant to reflect that relations of Christ and the church in your marriage.  Don’t let things that are not significant get in the way.

You may be wondering why I make it sound so simple.  You see, it is that simple.  Keep God first in your marriage and you will glorify Him and make it easier to stand-up to the world of sin.  Pray together and pray for each other.  This will strengthen you both that much more in your daily lives and struggles.  It will make your marriage stronger and healthier and better capable to stand before anything and push away anything the adversary throws your way.  You will be able to manage through adversity together that much better.  Keep God at the center of your Marriage, always.  This is a life lesson I’ve slowly learned over the years and it so real.

Don’t Wait For Happiness To Come To You

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You know all too often, we hit periods of time where for one reason or another, we just are not happy with ourselves or with the current status of our lives.  It may be circumstances with our work, maybe our career is not going the way we want to go, maybe things are not as happy as they should be in the home with strained relationships with one’s spouse or even children.  Maybe you have lost sight of God in your life because of circumstance and not sure he is playing a roll in your life.  It could be anything.  Many of us, including me ,have come to points where we are just flat our miserable and not sure when things can get better.

When we hit these points of depression and unhappiness we often find ourselves in a more negative state.  It becomes difficult to be positive and your not sure how thing can get better.  Like I said, I am no different.  What in the world do you do with that?  How can you get yourself out that rut and move toward a point where you are happy again with life and your direction?  I certainly had those questions.  About 8-9 years ago, my career was at a point where I was flat miserable everyday.  Nearly 4 years ago, I lost my Dad in a tragic accident and thought, what does anything matter anymore.  I was in bad way mentally, even though most people would not know it.

First over the past couple of years, I chose to walk closer with God each day and that reestablished my relationship with Christ.  Then I realized, no matter what they situation is, I have to make the choice to get myself out of a rut and find the happiness that helps me come alive again.  I have done a lot of reading and a lot of soul searching in recent years.  I’ve quoted Earl Nightingale many times especially from the “Strangest Secret” when he says, “We become what we think about.”  If we set our mines on the negative we will never find the positive.  We have to gear our minds to think toward the positive, to think toward the goals we want, to think toward happiness.  It is all purely mental.  You have to have the  mental toughness to not let circumstance keep you from reaching your potential.

Going back to Earl Nightingale, he also said, “Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.”  We have to find what makes us happy.  We cannot wait for it come falling in our laps because it won’t.

I’ve come to realize that our time that God gives us on this Earth is very precious and is gone in the blink of an eye.  Don’t stand by and let it move past not make the most of the time you’re given.  It can be gone in a snap.  Don’t waste your time on the negative.  Things will happen in life.  It is a part of life.  But you need to have the mental toughness to bounce back and move forward with life.  Paul said in Philippians 4:8, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  You have to fix your mind on the positive.  Fix your mind on what is worthy and not where the adversary wants you to go.  Fix your mind on Christ and he most definitely will guide out of the difficulties you face to freedom and happiness.  You have to make that choice and not wait for it come to you.

Valentines Day!

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So another Valentines Day is upon us.  I kept joking with Amber yesterday that today is such a pressure filled day.  We walked into the grocery store and just like with any holiday, the entrance is plastered with all the flowers, candy, and everything else to go with the day.  But, what is this day really all about.  I was listening to a radio show earlier in the week where people were calling in talking about their disdain for Valentines Day and how they will not celebrate.  This was mostly women at that.  In some way in surprised me, but in some way it didn’t.  Many people have become so disenchanted with the day and don’t care for it.  I see this day a tremendous opportunity for many couples.  It can be day for reconciliation or to rekindle that spark in their marriage that may have been lost after so many years together.

As for me and my wife, it is just another day to express how much she means to me and how thankful I am that she is my bride.  I take the opportunity every day to tell her that I love her and I most certainly mean.  Without her, I would be lost.  She has been by my side through everything we have gone through in life and supported me through everything and I am so blessed and thankful that the Lord has brought her to me and we have had so many years together.  Everyday we are together, I grow to love her more and more.  I love spending my days with her when I get to work from my house and then just hanging out in the evenings.  She is every part of me that is good.

With all of that said, Happy Valentines Day to everyone, but especially for my beautiful wife, Amber.  You are my life, my love, and my best friend and I thank God for every day we have to spend together!

 

The Need for Patience and Persistence

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Yesterday was a dicey day for weather in my neck of the woods.  Unusually warm weather for January with a strong cold front approaching made for some strong storms to roll across Georgia.  It made for an interesting day with bad storms ripping across the state with a tornado or two further west then heavy rain and wind in my area.  The storms hit my area just as Amber and I were picking our kids up from school.  When we arrived at the elementary school for Ashley, the severe storm warning was issued for the county so school release was delayed.  We went inside the school to get out of the storm and wait it out.  One the storm passed they started organizing the dismissal for car riders as most parents were inside at that point.  Of course, it never fails in those types of situations, that patience where thin and people started getting snippy with the school as they were trying there best to organize an unusual situation.  It was very aggravating to me and made me reflect on just how little patience people often can have in various situations of life.  I’ve been guilty of this a time or two as well.

Today, I have been reflecting on the need for patience as it applies to life and our overall successes in life as well as the need persistence.  Far too often we come into situations in life where we have little patience to wait for the result we are looking for.  This could be  as simple as waiting in line at a store or an event or as big as waiting to make a success out of ourselves in our careers.  We have become a society that is bent on give me this now that we forget to exercise  a level of patience in waiting for those things to come.  What is old saying…”The best things come to those who wait.”  A very simple and timeless saying.  It applies to everything in life.  Yet with that simple saying, we put that aside when it comes to what it is we want.

Patience is something that needs to be practiced throughout life.  I know it’s not always easy.  I have my moments where I can get very impatient too.  It is part of our human nature I guess.  With that however, we must learn that when we are after a particular goal, we cannot expect to always achieve that goal instantly.  My career and education has been a practice of patience.  I used to get frustrated after I finished my undergraduate when I did not realize those salary goals that the admins insisted I would achieve.  Then I realized that i had to be patient for the right opportunity, so I continued working hard and advancing my educational learning even through today.  Napoleon Hill stated that, “Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.”  This is true with everything I have learned to realize.  You have to keep working persistently toward those goals knowing that the reward will come.  Don’t let yourself get frustrated when it does not come instantly.  It usually never does come instantly.

The Bible also tells us that patience is needed.  Colossians 1:11 states, “We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy.”  Our journey of faith requires patience as well.  There are many times when we pray to the Lord for something and all too often when we don’t think He has answered those prayers when get angry and sometimes resentful thinking He is not listening to us.  When are praying and seeking God, this is a time where we need to practice even more patience.  We should in fact pray for the strength to find patience within us.  God knows all of our prayers and hears us always.  We cannot expect an answer on our time.  We are on His time always.  Be patient and listen and He will respond at the perfect moment whether you expect it or not.

Life is all about being patient for what it is we want to achieve.  It does not matter what pillar of life are driving at.  The biggest thing is to understand that no matter what the circumstance, big or small, patience is always needed.  If you are working toward something, be persistent about it but at the same time, don’t get so persistent that you forget restraint and lose patience.  Be persistent in your prayers.  As Jesus said, ““Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you” Matthew 7:7.  Those words ring true through everything in life.  Be persistent in life, but never lose patience in that persistence.

Patience

The Impact of Relationships

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As we make our walk through life, we encounter so many different people that can have an impact on you and your own life in some way.  It could be with people you grew-up with, people in your church community, work colleagues, family and friends, or even strangers you have not met before.  When you think about it, every person you come across can have a significant impact on the type of person you choose to be in some way.  It’s like the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life.”  George Bailey was given an opportunity to see a world in which he did not exist.  He realized that his life was a real blessing and his own existence made an impact on so many people in his town.  Life is like that for real.  Everyone we encounter, whether short or long-term can have an influence on you.  Some of those influences are full of love and good and some of those are, more or less evil.  Those good and evil influences will help drive you in a direction that is either good or evil where the adversary always dwells.

When we face moments that we encounter people that tend to bring more toxicity to your life, it can be easy to succumb to that and fall into the trap of being that same type of person.  These are people that will do whatever they can to sever any relationships you have in your own life and bring you down.  We have all seen these type of people throughout our walk in life.  What I want to share with you is that no matter how much someone tries to tear you down and bring you to their level, you can be stronger than them.  Do not let them bring you to a point where you may do something regrettable yourself or take on their same characteristics.  This is when you have to choose to let God pull you from this situation.  Jesus said, “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”  This is such a powerful thing.  Even Christ, while he was being hung on the cross prayed out to the Father to forgive those who were carrying out his crucifixion.  It is the most powerful showing of love and redemption ever.  Confrontations may happen, but even after, love and forgive those who may do wrong to you.  They may not accept, they have that choice.  Leave it in God’s hands.

On the brighter side, there are those encounters and relationships with people that just bring nothing but pure love and encouragement.  These are those that stand by you through difficult times or provide you the words that help to lift you up.  We have all encountered these people as well.  I have many them around, from my family and friends, to colleagues, mentors, and even people I may not know as well, but encounter regularly.  There is one gentleman that works out at my gym and everyday he comes in with a smile and walks around shaking everyone’s hand and asking how they are doing.  Have not had the chance to know him personally yet, but he is a guy that just loves life and loves meeting people.  Those types of attitudes are infectious as well.  Like with any situation we can choose to let these individuals have an impact on you and whether you let their kindness reflect in you.

As I said, any relationship we have in our lives has an impact on us.  We have to choose how we let that relationship influence our own self.  The good and the bad will have an impact on you.  Mr. Potter had an influence on George Bailey just as his own wife did.  The negative in life can be so easy to gravitate to.  It’s always easier to fall down that path.  We live in a fallen creation and the adversary is their day in and day out to pull at us in our sinful nature.  You must choose to learn from those good and bad encounters in life and make strides to walk through life in a manner that is positive or negative.  The positive is always harder as temptation is always there, but you can let God take control and he will help guide you through the rough patches and rough relationships.

SpiritofPower

An Unconditional Covenant

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One of the 4 big pillars I have found in life revolves around marriage and the family.  I want to take a moment to talk specifically about marriage.  In my coming book “4 Pillars to Coming Alive”, I talk in much greater detail about this and each of the 4 pillars.  Here at 4 Pillar Living, I will talk about different segments as we go forward and even give some teasers as to what my new book will entail.

Marriage is a union that in many ways has seem to have lost a sense of importance today.  For many, life becomes so hectic and busy with work, kids activities, and a multitude of other things that many couples forget to take the time to just focus on one another.  I want to write for a bit today about this sacred unity that many of us are blessed to be able to take part in.  If you have not yet, this will also apply if you happen to venture down this road.  Now, I am not the world’s foremost expert by any stretch, but what I do have is a lot of conviction and life experience in this area.  My bride and I have been married for 15, going on 16 years.  We were married very young, but did that intentionally and knew we wanted to grow together and for the rest of our lives.  We have been on quite a journey and I have learned a lot about what it takes to make a marriage work and how a marriage that is healthy, helps you come alive.

What is so vital in any marriage, I don’t care who you are, is a focus of unconditional love.  Too many times these days, couples make it easy for the distractions of life, to influence their mind to where their love for their spouse starts to come with conditions.  This could be in disagreements or struggles with bills and finances or any of a number of other things.  I have seen marriage struggles around me over the years.  Many times it falls down to the same kind of thing conditions were not met which destroyed the fabric of their union.

Our love for one another is not meant to have conditions around it.  It is meant to be a reflection of the unconditional love that God has shown us even when we are not worthy of it.  No matter how much we fall, because Christ came and died for us and was risen to life again, He is always their to take us back.  This is the ultimate showing of unconditional love.  Our marriages with that one person that we are meant to cleave to for life is to be a reflection of that love.  Love endures all and choosing to love unconditionally just has God did for us will go a long way for your own marriage.

Now for some, I may be preaching to the choir, and for others, you may think what is all this love stuff.  This is the very fabric of who we are though.  If you have any struggles there that try to rip at your marriage, you should vow to stay strong and together with your spouse you can get through it all.  Don’t turn to blaming one or the other for their faults.  Instead resolve to get through any situation together.  Remember, now that you are married, you are no longer two.  You are one.  A union that is never to be broken.  Resolve with your spouse to build an everlasting covenant together.  One that is built on unconditional love.  Doing so will enable you to get through any challenge in life together.

More to come on this in the future…