Tag Archives: Life

Conquering Fears That Tell You No

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We all have fears in life, don’t we.  There are those things that we encounter that tell us that we cannot do something.  What fears have you encountered?  It could be anything from riding a roller-coaster, flying in a plane, fear of new opportunities, fear of failure, and even, yes, fear of success.  Fear is something that is so stifling, that it can keep you from perusing your dreams and goals and force you down paths that are completely contradictory to anything that you would otherwise do.  Fear can keep you stuck in a job that makes you flat out miserable.  I know many that have been there.  Either they become too secure in their job and its benefits or they just don’t want to risk going on to something new for fear of the unknown.  This fear can suck the spirit out of you and keep you from ever coming alive.

Dr. Charles Stanley had a great quote about fear.  He said, “Fear stifles our thinking and actions. It creates indecisiveness that results in stagnation. I have known talented people who procrastinate indefinitely rather than risk failure. Lost opportunities cause erosion of confidence, and the downward spiral begins.”  Does this sound like you or anyone you know?  The fear can come from a number of areas.  It can be your own psychological fears of moving forward or it could those naysayers that constantly want to tell you that you can’t do this or you shouldn’t do that.  Either way, as Dr. Stanley said, fear stifles your thinking and actions and can result in lost opportunities.

The struggle that must be faced by everyone is how to conquer that fear.  What can you do to brush aside the naysayers and that nagging feeling that keeps you from pursuing the goals you have ahead and what God has intended for you?  Elbert Hubbard stated that “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.”  We all know there will times where you will not succeed in one venture or another.  If you never try however, for fear of failing, then you have once again let fear overcome you and your goals.

So how do you conquer those fears?  The biggest thing is to put your trust in God that He will lead you through the challenges and toward the path He wants you on.   Psalm 56:3-4 says, “But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.  I praise God for what he has promised.  I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?”  That’s self evident there.  What can anyone or anything do to stop you if you put your trust in God.  He will help you overcome your fears when you trust in Him and let Him take control.

With your trust in God, you can muster the strength to overcome any fear and follow your dreams.  Les Brown stated that “A lot of people do not muster the courage to live their dreams because they are afraid to die.”  Don’t be afraid of where the path goes.  Follow your dreams and goals and follow them without fear.  I have a frame on my wall at home that says “The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.”  Know that He is always there.  Don’t be afraid of failure.  Don’t be afraid of success.  Don’t be afraid of the unknown.  Have faith that the path you follow is the one you are meant to be on.  You keep your mind fixed on those goals and they will come to fruition.

So don’t ever let anyone or anything tell you that you can’t follow your passions and dreams.  You can conquer those fears.  I have had my share of those fears over the years of where I may end up.  It is now in God’s hands and he is guiding down the path I was intended to take.  You can do the same thing.  It takes time, so don’t let that stop you either.  Stay focused and you can conquer those fears and come alive!

It’s Time to Really Get in Gear

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These past couple of months, I have kept myself in place in life where I have not been able to live out what I’ve been writing about.  This is a challenge that we all can face as we struggle with understanding what may be the “right” path to take and what may be the path you were meant to take and that God place you here for.  I let myself get so bogged down with other things that it took away from me focusing on things that really mean something to me and that can have meaningful impacts on those around me.  I’ve been fortunate that in these last few months, the things that have kept me going are my family and my faith.  I enjoy every waking moment I have with my wife and children.  Yes, spring time is hectic as our children are filled with their activities, but I love every part of it.  It has been a great part of their growth and it has bonded us all closer together.  I also have latched on to my faith as my daily walk with God through His word has been a continued uplift for me in times where mentally and emotionally I was struggling with keeping myself afloat with the demands of my work and school.

I have learned that in my life and in all our lives, there will be times where we just struggle with our purpose and figuring out what it is we should be doing with this tremendous gift of life the Lord has granted us.  Last week, I first decided to take some leave from my doctoral work just for my own sanity.  Then I took a couple of vacation days to spend with my family.  On the first day, we packed up a picnic lunch and fishing gear and went out to the lake for a day of fishing.  It was a great time just spending with my family and relaxing at the same time.  Throughout the time of baiting hooks and getting my kids lines out of trees and other snags, it dawned on me again that this is what really matters in life.  The time and energy I get to spend with my family to teach them, to have fun with them, and just enjoy the company of each other.  The same holds true for my wife and the amount of time I get to spend with her and focusing on us.

So there it is for me.  I was back to 3 of the 4 Pillars.  Then I had to rethink Pillar 4 which focuses on Work.  I realized that I had really let 4 Pillar Living get away from me.  I let so much else detract from me working on something that really mattered to me and what seems to matter to others as well.  I am not the worlds foremost expert in how to live by any means, but I am certainly here in position to help guide people into making sure they focus on the important aspects of living not let unimportant things get in the way of you enjoying life and coming alive through all areas of life.

Now is the time for me and for us all to really figure out how to unleash our own God given potential and live out the lives we were meant to live.  We all have a purpose and if we listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying through us, we will be able to find that purpose and then take the steps to live it out.  My call to service is help others unleash who they are meant to be.  It is a struggle that we all have and that I have and continue to have.  I have learned a lot along the way and I plan to use my writing and communication abilities to share that with you all more and more.  You will once again begin to see more consistent content on 4PillarLiving.com.  My work on my book “4 Pillars to Coming Alive” is kicking back into high gear again and I will also be developing strong focal points on each  of the Pillars.   One of the first will be focused on Marriage and relationships.  Be on the lookout for more this summer.  In addition, 4 Pillar Radio will be coming online soon.  I will be working to get that going once again.

It’s going to be a fun ride and I hope you will join me through it.   4 Pillar Living is getting back in gear and this train is stopping.  Enjoy the Ride!!!

The Power that Faith Brings

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I have devoted a great deal of time these past few years renewing my faith and relationship with Christ.  I’m not always on point in this walk, but I come a long way in ensuring I walk with Him daily and keep His path close to my heart as I grow as a man of faith and a leader for my family and those around me.  Through my journey, I have learned just how powerful that faith can be in my life and in anyone’s life who chooses to walk by faith.  Even when we are unsure of what the end results may be, following a path by faith will lead you down God’s path for you and help you grow closer to Him in your own life.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”  When we choose to walk through life by faith, we are putting our trust and confidence in the Lord that he will provide and guide us down the path he has chosen for us.  I think we have all heard people over the years talk about their struggle with faith when they cannot see what it is God has planned for even see proof that God is actually here for us.  I walked down this pathway some especially after I lost my Dad and did not know what it was that God was doing and questioning why he would let something as tragic as that happen to someone like him.  Since that time, I have grown to understand that those events happen life for specific reasons.  My Dad was a man of tremendous faith, and maybe through what he endured, it may help others to find their way to the Lord and I think that certainly happened and continues to happen.

So what does faith me to you.  In my Bible readings this morning, the subject of faith as a active thing versus a passive feeling was discussed.  Through faith, Christians can rely on faith for their day to day living.  We’ve come too far in life to live passively and not exercise our faith.  Our lives are a unique opportunity for each of us to life a life of faith and not sit back letting life pass us by and being complacent in how we live.  Just to use an analogy from my reading, lets say you were given the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to play a round of golf at Augusta National Golf Club.  You come to the Par 5 13th hole at Amen Corner.  After driving down the fairway you are faced with the decision to layup or go for the green.  Chances are you may never play that course again, so why not take a chance of faith and go for it.  In other words, when those unique opportunities arise to exercise your faith, take advantage of it.  You only have so much time to so.

If you look throughout our history, so much was done and accomplished on the pillar of faith.  Go all the way back to Abraham, who showed ultimate faith by being willing to sacrifice his son, Isaac as instructed by God, only to be stopped by God himself, when he saw that Abraham had committed all his faith to God.  By trusting in Him, even though he may not be physically visible to us we can make through and accomplish anything in life with the Lord by our side.

Martin Luther King, Jr said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”  It may be scary to take that step into the unknown, to begin a new chapter in life, to begin a new career, to begin a family, to begin a ministry, or whatever it may be.  That first step can be tricky, but demonstrating faith and stepping, even when you cannot see what will become, is extremely powerful.  It shows a lot of your own character and God will also guide you through those steps into the unknown.  Walk by faith, even when you cannot see.  He will guide you through it all.

Can’t Grow Without Mistakes

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Our experiences in life take us down so many different avenues.  With each avenue, we are required to make constant decisions about that path.  Let me ask you this, in any of those avenues, or decisions in life, have you ever made a mistake?  If you for some reason say no, you must not be alive.  Life’s journey is filled with mistakes.  These are moments where we decide things that did not always produce the best results.  This could be anything, big or small.  If you work, you may make a decision on a project that may have seemed good, but ended up not producing the best results.  You may decide on a school for higher education, but not choose a degree path that really suits what you may want to do in the future.  Those are just minor examples of mistakes that occur in life.  There are countless other examples.

George Bernard Shaw said that , “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”  The mistakes that we make in life are all a part of the growing process and help to make us who we really are.  Notice that I am mentioning mistakes, not regrets.  I live live a life where I avoid having regrets.  Regrets are feelings that prevent us from moving beyond something that may not have gone the way we had hoped.  Mistakes on the other hand are experiences that we learn from and help to improve on the person we are.  They help to define ourselves in the way we bounce back from mistakes.  In any mistake I make, I do my best to learn from what went wrong to not only avoid that mistake again, but to also ensure I can improve on what was done.

Don’t let yourself live a life of regrets where any little mistake holds you down and prevents you from progressing to who you are meant to be.  I’ve been down that road before.  Living with regrets does not do you a bit of good.  As the old saying goes, live and learn.  You learn from the mistakes without regrets and you strive toward coming alive.  We are where we are in life as a result of every step we have taken whether we learn from our mistakes or choose to not learn and live a life of regret.  Our current state is a result of our actions and decisions in life and we are exactly where we are intended to be as a result of those actions.

Don’t let your life be defined by not taking action to learn from your own mistakes in life.  This applies to all 4 pillars of living.  You may have taken a road where you strayed from your faith in Christ.  You may have made mistakes that affect your relationships with your spouse, family, or friends.  You may have made mistakes in the work you do by taking a path that does not suit you or your passions.  Lastly, you may have made mistakes in not living a life that has purpose or that does not always move forward.

No matter which area, there is always opportunity to learn from the mistakes down each pillar of life.  Learning from any mistakes you have made will help you find the path you meant to be on.  You can find your way back to your faith in knowing, that Christ will always take you back.  You can find the ways to mend those relationships in your life.  You can find that work and passion that best suits you.  Finally, you can live a life with purpose that always moves forward.  You can Come Alive!  Everything that happens has a its purpose, good or bad and we have to learn from those times to make the best results from it.  Mistakes are nothing but a learning experience and opportunity.

Gotta Keep Swinging!

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I love baseball!  As a dad, I have had the pleasure of watching my boy play baseball and my daughter now plays softball.  Over the past 8 years I have also been able to coach each of my kids either as an assistant or head coach.  I was thrown into that mix my boys first year of playing and it just stayed with me til now.  This is the first year, I am not coaching in some time, which is awesome.  I actually get to sit back and enjoy the games.  My oldest, no longer plays baseball, but rather is now into archery.  My other son, competes at a high level in travel, with hopes of playing professionally and my daughter, now plays competitively in travel softball, and also hopes to play professionally.  It is a true joy to see all of my kids do things they enjoy and excel at what they do.

Aside from my kids playing I still love the game of baseball and love to watch the Braves play each year.  Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training next week and they’ll be underway for another season.  Baseball is one of those games where each day and each game can bring you something completely different.  You may have a phenomenal game one day and the very next, nothing seems to right.  It’s a lot like life in that sense.  Each day brings you new challenges that are often completely different from the day prior.  For any ball player, the challenge can be how to deal with those games that seem to not go your.  With my kids, I know they have had plenty of those.  But what they learned is that, they just have to push those tough games aside and keep right on going.

Hank Aaron, the real Home Run King, said, “My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.”  This is the approach that we should all take.  You have to keep swinging.  You cannot let a down day keep you back.  You have to keep right on and keep moving.  In baseball, or softball for that matter, gotta be fair to my daughter, if you strikeout, you cannot let that keep you down.  Get back up and go again the next time around.  When coaching my kids, I always told them that even the best players strikeout.  In life, even the best and most successful fall from time to time or have those down times and believe me, for most of them, they had to earn their way there through trials and difficulties.

Gotta keep swinging.  It’s so simple, but such a real part of life.  There are so many sports analogies that could be used I guess, but I love this one.  There’s always another opportunity to do better and to hit that line drive in the gap or blast one out.  There also, always another opportunity to reach your goals.  Set your mind toward it, keep swinging and until you drive it out of the park.  If you fall, get back up and do it again.  Now play ball and keep shooting for those dreams.

 

What Will You Create to Make the World AWESOME?!?!?!

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I know many of you probably have seen this, but I just had to share this video.  This kid is such a trip, but the message he delivers is so real.  It speaks right to the reality of life in the need for us to get out there and create.  By creating we drive forward with making the world awesome.  We all have something to contribute somewhere by our own God given talents and abilities.  The thing is whether we choose to stand back do nothing or we choose to take advantage of those abilities and do something meaningful, purposeful, and awesome.

“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It’s not always easy, but if we let ourselves go forward and pursue that greatness and unleash our talents to create, then my friends,we have come alive.  I choose to live and I choose to create.  What will do you?

Creating a Trail

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When I was growing up, I spent a great deal of time playing with the woods with my brothers and our friends from around the neighborhood.  We would spend our time building forts and carving trails through the woods for riding our bikes.  We would spend day after day working on these trails and forts and exploring new areas of the woods around where we lived.  I know today this concept has not died out on my kids and they like to hang out with their friends carving out trails through the woods and building forts.  Seems to be a trend here.

I reflected on this today as I continue my work toward my doctoral research and completing my proposal and dissertation.  After a discussion with my mentor last night, I began to reflect further on the direction I am taking with my research.  One of the goals of doctoral research is to contribute new knowledge to the literature and carve out a new way of looking the research topic in a way that can have an impact on scholars and on leadership.  I began to really reflect on my study in trying to figure out what would be the most impacting approach to my research.

Now, you are probably asking yourself, what does carving out trails in the woods as a kid and my research have to do with each other?  It’s simple.  The ultimate goal of my research is to carve out a new trail.  Not to reinvent the wheel and do something that others have done in the path.  To forge a new way of looking at things in a way that can have a real world impact.  As a kid, we did not constantly build the same trail over and over again.  No, we built new ones.  We created!  This same holds true in my research.  My goal is to create a new pathway.

Earl Nightingale said that, “Instead of competing, all we have to do is create.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson said,”Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”  These quotes hold true to all parts of life.  In my everyday research, I am striving to build a strong pathway built on extensive research to go somewhere completely new.  In my life, I also strive to break the mold and cave out a new trail for the way I live my life.  It is a matter of striving for goals I set for myself and not sitting back and waiting for someone to tell me what is the path I should take.

I have written time again about seeking God’s path for our lives.  In this path, each one of us has a unique calling to His purpose.  It is up to us to forge ahead and build that pathway to seek out that purpose that is before us.  Each day, our walk takes on down a new road in life.  We are in essence already creating  a pathway and leaving that newly carved trail behind us.  This is when we have decide if the pathway we take is one that is safe with a trail already carved out, or if we are forging ahead to build our own trail.  Decide if you want to be trail carver or if you want to follow trails already built by others.  We are all given an opportunity to carve our own way and not let others define what your are or who you are.  Choose to create and go after the dreams and goals you set for yourself and achieve your God given purpose.

Going for What’s Yours

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Reflecting on yesterday’s post and answering the call to your path, I started thinking of the hesitancy that still surrounds so many us when that call comes.  Out of nowhere this morning, my senior quote from my high school year book came into my mind.  Part of the quote was, “…Stay real; don’t hesitate to go for what’s yours.”  I was 18 when I wrote that little quote and it was something that spoke very loudly to me then and even to this day, it speaks very loudly to me.  At the time it was symbolic of my attitude to marry the love of my life, Amber, who has now been my bride for 15, going on 16 years.  We caught a lot of negatives for our decision, but we knew that this was what we wanted and it was ours to go after.  We have grown together and learned together, which has been phenomenal.

Now I digress.  What does it mean to you to go for what is yours?  Could it be going after that dream job, that dream house, the freedom of working for yourself, or even owning your calling from God?  I think it is really anything.  I’ve quoted Earl Nightingale a few times, but what he says in “The Strangest Secret” is very profound.  He says that we become what we think about.  With that said, if there is something in life that you feel called to go after, then you have the opportunity to set your mind in motion to reach that goal.  You will get challenged for thinking this way, but if you keep your mind on that goal, you will eventually be able to realize that goal.  It may be instant or it may take some time, but you have to be persistent to achieve it.

For each one of us, there comes a time where we feel challenged to reach the goals we have set for ourselves.  Obstacles may come in our way making it more difficult to reach those goals.  When I said “Stay real” in my quote, I meant that you have to stay true to who you are and who God called you to be when those challenges and naysayers come around.  Don’t hesitate.  Own what it is you want to go after and what it is you were called for.  Don’t let anyone tell you that what you are doing is not right or not  worthwhile.  If you feel compelled to that goal, then it is worthwhile and right.  Do not ever let yourself get boxed up into a tiny definition of yourself that people hold for you.  You have the opportunity to define yourself by the actions you take.  You choose to stay complacent or go for what’s yours.  Believe me the naysayers will come.  As I have said before, if people want to challenge your direction, nine times out of ten, you are doing something right.

4 Pillar Living has presented me with a tremendous opportunity to talk to people like you through multiple channels about very parts of life and living.  Everything I write about here are things I believe in wholeheartedly.  This was my opportunity to own what it is I believed and bring that to others in hopes that it helps your life some way.  I knew that I did not want to hesitate to go for what is mine and what I feel is my calling to serve.  Likewise for each of you, don’t hesitate.  If you let that call and those opportunities pass by, then they may be gone forever.  Choose to go for what’s yours and choose to unleash yourself and come alive.

Answering the Call

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Throughout life we encounter times where we begin to question the path we have taken.  Our jobs may make us miserable, we may have lost someone close to us, or tensions and bickering with family and friends may lead you to shut yourself off from people.  It could be anything in life.  Something negative infiltrates and it takes a toll on the path you continue to make.  These negative circumstances may have dictated you to think that life is more or less pointless and that our choices and decisions are meaningless.  Through my own life, I have had my times where things seemed to not be going as I had planned and even times where I thought it did not matter what kind of effort I put into my life, because it was pointless.

Life takes us on whirlwind journey where our experiences along the way can have a significant impact on the type of person we become.  I firmly believe that God has a calling for each of us.  If we are engaged in Him, then we can begin to hear where He is calling us.  We have to choose whether we, ourselves are drawn in to what He is calling us to do or if we choose to be indifferent.  In a sermon yesterday, the message was that God’s purpose for us all hangs in the balance of whether we are drawn in or indifferent to Him.  Far too many of us are indifferent to this call even if we don’t realize it.  This indifference goes a long way to prevent us from hearing the call to serve and do what it is God called us to do.

Jesus said in John 15:16 “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.”  Jesus is telling us that we have been called by Him.  We were not placed here by our own choice, but rather because it was God’s will.  He placed each of us here for a purpose.  Each of us, as His children is called to move down a path that is meant for the purpose of God’s glory.  Psalm 39:7 says “And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.”  We must learn to place our hope in God as He is the one who will help us find out what our path is meant to be here during our time on Earth.

With this said, we have a significant duty before us.  In order to come alive, we have to choose to answer the call by being drawn in and not being indifferent to the call.  I have been building to this point to answer my call to service of others and helping people learn to unleash themselves through the 4 Pillars of life.  Seeking God’s call for us through our faith is of the utmost importance for all of us.  All of our calls our different.  We are each meant to glorify God in different ways.  Learning to recognize this as God unveils it is very powerful.  My challenge to every one this week and going forward to open yourself to hear the calling that is before you.  Immerse yourself in the Word and in prayer and God will reveal this path to your full purpose.  Doing this will place you on that path to come alive.

I know there may be some hesitancy when you realize that calling.  Especially if it is something that is completely different from what it is you have been used to.  My path to 4 Pillar Living is so different from my years of work and educational experience.  You may also encounter those naysayers that say you are barking up the wrong tree and wasting your time.  Let me tell you something.  There is absolutely nothing wasteful about answering the call, no matter how different it may be.  You will have critics and you will have those moments where it may not seem worthwhile.  That’s when you know you are on the right path.  You are getting push back because the adversary does not want your to succeed.  That’s when it is time to dig in further, remember, Always Forward, and continue that pursuit.  Answer the Call and don’t relent.

A Lifetime of Doors

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We have all heard the saying that when one door closes, another one opens.  I posted a quote on the 4 Pillar Living Facebook page from Alexander Graham Bell that said “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.”  Our lives are filled with doors of opportunity at which we are left with the daunting of decision of stepping through or passing by.  When we reach those challenging moments in life where a door closes, as Alexander Graham Bell mentioned, people often times stair at the closed door and don’t look forward to the new ones.  A example of this is going through a layoff.  I have been there before.  For me, it was right after my second child was born and on my wife’s birthday of all days.  That was a difficult time, but I knew that at that moment, I had the opportunity before me to do something better.  I could sit and sulk or bust my tail to open the next door, which I did.

These doors opportunities start when we are kids as well.  As a parent, I want to help my children be able to crash through those doors and make the most of every opportunity that’s presented to them.  We have taught all three of them that they have to set their mind to what it is they want in life and then take the steps to achieve that goal.  They also know that through each door of opportunity that comes their way, is another opportunity to do great things and further glorify God in how they tackle those opportunities.  As adults, I want my children to always be able to understand that they can have whatever it is in life they set their mind to do, if God wills it.  If they continue to seek Him, He will show the doors that are meant to be opened in life.

I bring my children up as an example of how doors of opportunity continue to come our way.  I have a son with passions to be a chef, another that plays competitive travel baseball with desires to play professionally, and my daughter plays competitive travel softball with desires to play professionally as well.  Each of them has before them several doors they can take as kids and teenagers that can lead them toward their goals or lead them away toward other areas of life, good or bad.  This is the same throughout all of life.  We can either crash through the doors of opportunity or sit back and let fears, doubts, and temptations take us through alternating doors.

Now, you may think, I have heard a lot of this before.  This is true.  These same things I am talking about are lessons many of us have received from our parents or others we have looked up to in life.  The problem that may of us have, however is that when we come to these doors of opportunity, we either shy away, or when we open them, we step through very timidly.  2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”  These are our golden opportunities to stare that fear down and come crashing through those doors.  Don’t open them with fear, even if it is totally new and unknown territory.  I have said that few times in this blog.  Crash through those doors.  Have confidence in yourself that you can make the most of the opportunity ahead.  People who excel in life take the challenge that is before them.  Learn from each door and always press forward through the next one.