This has been trying a season.  As I wrote in the last couple weeks, I really felt God shaking the ground under my feet to get my attention.  With circumstances as they are right now, and not having the margin I had to pursue the hearts of others the way I had hoped, this week, I found myself very discouraged.  That feeling of, “how will I get out of this situation?”  I realized what the evil one was trying to do with that, so it has taken deeper prayer just to fight off agreements with that.

This morning, I sit down at my desk, flip open my Bible and it is open right to Isaiah 50.  I focus in and verse 7 sticks out like a sore thumb. Out of the NLT, “Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore I have sent my face like stone, determined to do His will.” 

I have read this verse before, and it is even marked with a pen in my hard copy Bible.  Not sure when I did that.  Anyway, as I pondered that verse, it just wrecked me.  God reminded me this morning, that despite this season and the challenges with trying to overcome it, He is with me.  With that being said, I can charge forward, no matter what the world says or does around me and continue to do His will.

For me, I find myself thinking how do I continue to press forward in my calling and the mission God has laid before me?  I know and have to remember that in spite of seasons, He is with me, and I can, as Isaiah wrote, set my face like stone, and drive forward.  In this chapter, Isaiah is talking about being determined to be obedient to the Lord and pursuing the mission the Lord gave Him.  In verse 5, “The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me, and I have listened.”

I’m reading Dan Allender’s book, “To Be Told.”  Actually, just really started and finished Chapter 1 yesterday.  I don’t consume books fast.  Anyway, near the end, Dan spoke to calling.  He said, “We give Him much greater glory when we are aware of our calling, live intentionally, and live with passion.  That’s how we coauthor our own story…our calling always seems associated with the name God gives each one of us.”  Gary Barkalow, in his book, “It’s Your Call,” talks about calling and how it is the glory and weightiness that each of us carry, uniquely, as God’s image bearers.  It’s how we uniquely bear His image.

All of this is reminding me and filling me with a determination to drive forward.  It’s funny that this came up in conversation last weekend. At the Wild at Heart Boot Camp in 2015, I was asking God what names he had for me.  What was my true name.  The image of King Arthur at the round table kept coming into mind.  At the time, it was weird, but I still wrote it down. Nearly 5 years later, that is coming into reality and a conversation while working with brothers on our ministry outpost reminded me of that.

I know I’m all over the place, but I share that to say that this was a reminder of who God has said I am.  Who I am leading and how I am leading.  In remembering that identity and in my place as His son through Jesus Christ, I still have a mission ahead of me.  Despite the current circumstances and the feeling of bursting at the seams with the desire to press forward, I can stay ground in who God has said I am and remember that He is with me and because of that, though the season may be exhausting, I can press forward.

Right now, as I write this, I feel Jesus saying, “this is the truth of who you are and what I have gifted you with.”  I believe part of that’s in writing, which has come up in conversations over and over again.  Perhaps there’s something here again.  If you followed this page for any length of time, you know that I used to write like crazy on it.  I believe there is more than writing in my mission, but this is a significant part of it all.  We’ll see.  I’ll just trust in whatever He wants to do with it all and leave the outcomes to Him.

He’s done this before, but God always, simply, amazes me.  The way He still speaks to us and through us.  In devotional this morning, I was reminded that “Jesus is always closing the distance. The encounters of the Gospels are intimate. Why do we feel we must help Jesus set that mistake right by pushing Him off a bit with reverent language and lofty tones?….this isn’t how God chose to relate to you.”  This is from Restoration Year from John Eldredge.  Definitely recommend.

It’s wild…I felt this morning filled me with new life again, especially from where I was feeling.  It’s a choice we must make and I am constantly reminded of that.  Will I choose to trust in Him and live out who God created me to be or will I allow the assault and lies that tell me I must just settle with “reality” and stay complacent.  No, I choose to give God my ‘Yes,’ and I will set my face like stone, as Isaiah wrote, and press forward in the mission laid before me.