Break the Cycle of Fatherlessness


This Sunday, we celebrate an important day; Fathers Day.  A day where we recognize Dads and thank them for all they do in our lives.  As men, Dads have a very critical role to raise up children.  It’s a role that I have taken very seriously myself to ensure my kids grow with sound character, a heart for God, and a desire to live according to His purpose.  I believe that this is such a critical aspect of raising children.  If they are geared toward God in life, then He can begin to go to work on their hearts and guide them as they become adults and He leads the rest of the way.

Unfortunately, there is a problem.  There is a continued growing trend of dads who completely check out in one way or another.  They abandon their responsibilities and leave their kids to fend for themselves to figure things out.  All too often a mom is left to play both roles.  This is a big problem. It’s a heart problem.  All too often these guys, I won’t call them men, are so focused on themselves that they refuse to put any sort of priority into being a dad.

This does not just have to do with guys who leave their families.  There are also guys who are there, physically.  They are still married and are around, but they don’t father their children.  They checkout in a number of ways.  Some are so focused on their own career success and selfish ambitions that they are always emotionally checked-out by the time they do come home.  Many other checkout in number of other ways.  The simple fact is that there is a big heart problem with many guys today.  They refuse to be the men they are called and created to be.  They refuse to the warriors for Christ they are meant to be to raise up their kids with heart for God.

So what happens?  Our kids end up severely wounded in a number of ways and then often times as they grow-up, unable to cope with these wounds they cycle begins to repeat itself with the next generation.

We have a problem men.  Our wives and our children need us.  We have a specific call to raise our children in Truth and to love God first.  Not abandon them to figure it out on their own.  Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says that we are to, “Love the Lord your God with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall team them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up”  We are teach our children to love God first with all that they are.

Paul said in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children in anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers do not exasperate (aggravate) your children, so that they will not lose heart.” 2 John 1:4 says, “I was very glad to find some of your children walking in Truth, just as we have received commandment to do from the Father.”

We have an important responsibility men.  All to often this is forgotten for many number of reasons whether the dad is in the house our now.  There was a time when even I was not aware of this responsibility.  It starts here though.  When we teach our children to seek God first and to love Him first, the kingdom is theirs and they can truly live the life that they were meant to live.

It’s an incredible responsibility that God has entrusted us with.  Even if you have father wounds in your life that you’ve had to deal with, you can break that cycle.  You don’t have to continue that trail of brokenness.  You have that choice.  You can break that cycle now.  Seek God’s intimate counsel. Don’t let the enemy bring you back to your own wounds and sins that may cause you to checkout from your kids lives.  Break the cycle.  Be the son of God you were meant to be and let that reflect in how your kids are raised to be children of God as well.  It starts with us.

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